


Lighthouse in the Storm

by ErithEl



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Art, Banter, Canon Compliant, Explicit Language, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Getting Together, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Mild Smut, Mutual Pining, NSFW Art, POV Keith (Voltron), Pining Keith (Voltron), Post-Canon, Sharing a Bed, except allura's alive (but it's not part of the story)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:22:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26127184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ErithEl/pseuds/ErithEl
Summary: Lance brushed this off as his fidgeting returned. “Or, there’s the obvious solution you seem to be completely missing, here.”“Which is?”“We’re not going anywhere anytime soon. We could…help each other out.”Or: In which Keith and Lance get stuck on an alien planet and finally find out how they really feel about each other.
Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Comments: 138
Kudos: 762





	Lighthouse in the Storm

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first NSFW piece of writing I've ever actually let anyone see, so honestly I'm just really curious as to how it will be received. As in my other pieces, it's more about the emotion and less about explicitly describing something – but luckily if you're into the explicit stuff there are literally thousands of those fics on this site! ;)
> 
> There is one NSFW picture, too, so just a head's up for that.

LIGHTHOUSE IN THE STORM

“What do you mean we _can’t_ leave?”

The Ahldorian Ambassador held up all four of his hands in what was apparently the universal gesture for _hold on a minute_. “Apologies. We are still learning how your species communicates and I realize what I have said may have been misunderstood.” He tilted his head like a confused dog, both sets of his large, white eyes blinking in unison. “When I say _you can’t leave_ , I mean this because our scanners have detected an ion storm approaching and if you were to vacate Ahldor at this time you would be caught in the middle of it and would perish. In all likelihood.”

Keith felt a steadying pressure as Lance’s fingers found the small of his back. It was a touch he would have once seen as unwelcome and patronizing, but now it was a comfort he gladly accepted.

“You mean we literally can’t leave,” Lance clarified. “It would be _unsafe_ for us to leave at this time.”

“Most unsafe, yes,” the Ahldorian confirmed. “And since you are guests on Ahldor and you have traveled all this way to bring us much needed supplies, we wish very much for you to remain alive so you may return safely to your Garrison with no ill will between us.”

Keith had relaxed after hearing the explanation, but was secretly glad Lance’s hand remained on his back. He shifted his weight to one leg, moving a fraction closer to his friend, wishing more than anything he could just reach back and pull Lance’s arms forward to wrap around himself.

Shaking off the thought, Keith glanced at Lance, who gave him the tiniest of nods. “If we cannot leave yet, is there a place we could rest? A private room where we could wash up and sleep the night? If it’s an inconvenience, we will make do with our ship, but –“

“Most certainly not an inconvenience.” The Ahldorian blinked again in acknowledgement. “We have quite accommodating rooms for visiting guests. I shall have Lyka show you to one such room.” He motioned to the smaller, two-armed Ahlordian who had been hovering behind him throughout the conversation. “I have been informed our rooms are cozy and welcoming, but we have never had guests from Earth. I look forward to hearing if it is to your liking.”

The Ahldorian Embassy had been built into the side of a mountain, and because of this the rooms appeared more cavern-like than constructed guest bedrooms. Large glass windows had been installed into the far side of the room, allowing the soft, bluish-green light of Ahldor to filter in. Large, leafy, luminous potted plants decorated the corners, adding to the natural, open-air feel of the space. A curtain served in place of the door that sectioned off the bathroom area from the rest of the room, and Keith was glad to see there appeared to be the Ahldorian equivalent of a shower.

In one corner along the right side of the room, a portion of the wall had been carved out into what appeared to be a fireplace, and a couch with cushions someone could get lost in was situated across from it. In the other corner sat a cluster of chairs surrounding a sturdy table that appeared to have been carved from a single piece of wood.

On the left wall lay a large king-sized futon, adorned with a blanket and a scattering of large, fluffy, colorful pillows.

Lance gave Keith a hearty pat on the shoulder as he slipped past him through the doorway. “Well, this is obviously mine.” He pointed to the futon. “And you’re gonna…” he mused, casting a quick glance around. “Oh, you can have the couch.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “Obviously the bed is big enough for both of us.”

The sheer cheekiness of the smirk Lance turned on him made Keith roll his eyes even harder. “So this was your plan from the beginning, wasn’t it? Wanted to get me into bed that badly, I see.”

“Yeah.” Keith kept his tone dry and sarcastic as he hefted his bag on one shoulder. “It’s not like we’ve ever shared a bed before, or that we sleep directly next to each other in the ship.”

“Yeah, yeah, but those circumstances weren’t great for either cuddles or canoodles.” Lance’s bag slipped to the crook of his arm as he gestured toward the futon. “But this…this is a bed built for an epic cuddle, Keith. You can finally get what you’ve always wanted!”

“I what?” Keith’s voice came out louder than he expected and Lance laughed.

Waving a vague gesture in Keith’s direction, he turned and plopped his bag down on the far side of the futon. “Oh yeah, that’s right I forgot. I’m the one who wants to cuddle. You’re the one who seems to somehow be immune to my advances.” He pointed a finger downwards. “This is my side by the way.”

Keith looked at him as he crouched down, rifling through his bag for who knows what.

Keith would have made him take that side anyway, and he wondered if Lance had picked it deliberately. They had been mission partners for just over a year, now, and in that time, had Lance noticed that Keith would always choose the side closest to the door – and if he had, did he understand why? How, by being the closest to the door, if anyone were to break in and attack them, they would get to Keith first, and he could possibly buy Lance a few precious extra seconds?

Sighing, he let his own bag slide off his shoulder before walking over to the futon. His bag hit the floor with a soft thud, and Keith eyed a particularly fluffy pink pillow that looked like the most comfortable thing in the world at that moment to just fall onto. He was preparing to do just that when an abrupt, indignant and wordless exclamation sounded from across the bed.

“Ugh. Lance – _what?”_

Lance rocked back on his heels, hands on his hips, eyes narrowing in the closes thing to a death glare he could muster. “Was I correct in thinking,” he began slowly, “that you were about to just flop down in the place you are going to be sleeping…in your _Blade armor?_ With your _shoes on?”_

It was the kind of thing that would have made Keith annoyed around the time they were still getting used to each other. Now, however, he bit back a grin as he strode purposefully around the foot of the bed to stand above Lance.

“You’re right,” he said, widening his eyes in mock innocence. “It was stupid of me. What I am actually going to do is lie down in the place _you_ are going to sleep. And I’m going to put my shoes on the pillows.”

Lance was up like a shot – hands firmly gripping Keith’s shoulders as he maneuvered him away from the bed and over to the bathroom area.

“Oh no you fucking don’t,” he hissed. “You come anywhere near my side in that dirty old uniform and I will end you.”

Lance reached out and flung the curtain open, his chin and lower lip jutting forward in an exaggerated pout as he pointed with his full arm into the bathroom. “Get your ass in there and take a fucking shower before you come anywhere near the bed!”

There was no use hiding his grin any longer as Keith braced himself against the doorframe.

“And don’t you fucking grin at me!” Lance narrowed his eyes.

Their faces were so close, if Lance’s skin had had any imperfections or blemishes, Keith would have been able to see them clearly. He distracted himself from further thoughts involving Lance’s skin by biting down hard on his lower lip. “If you wanted to see me naked so bad, you could have just asked.”

He almost laughed out loud at the flash of shock that jolted across Lance’s features. “ _W-what_ – I mean why would you think – I never said anything –“

Keith let his eyes flick toward the bag he had left by the bed. “You shoved me over to the bathroom, told me to strip and shower, and left me without a change of clothes, Lance,” he said softly, teasing. “Are you gonna make me walk across the entire room completely naked so I can get my clothes after a shower?”

“Towels exist, Keith!”

It was something Keith hadn’t known he would miss as much as he had – the quick way Lance bounced back and returned any banter or teasing that was served his way. It was something Keith had grown so used to, flying together as they did, he sometimes found himself slipping into that style of conversation with another person, on the rare occasion he was not on a mission with Lance. Whenever this happened, he always received an odd look or a confused response, which only served to make the rest of the mission or conversation awkward and quiet.

“Wait –“ Lance peered past Keith’s shoulder, eyes combing the bathroom. “Yup –“ he pulled back, triumphant. “Towels exist on this world, too, so _– hah!”_

“Fine. You only want to see me _half_ naked, then.”

Lance shoved a finger in his face. “I don’t want to see you _at all_ right now!” Unexpectedly, he grabbed Keith’s shoulders again and half-slammed his back into the doorframe before stepping away. “You – stay.” He growled, jabbing a finger at the ground before stalking over and grabbing Keith’s bag from the floor.

Unbeknownst to Lance, Keith wasn’t going anywhere, even if he thought it would have been funny to prod Lance’s patience further.

He could still feel Lance’s hands on his shoulders. He could still see the intensity in his eyes and hear the forceful tone of his voice. Not for the first time, Keith’s mind wandered to a place he rarely let himself go…the image of Lance pushing him against a wall, hands sliding down to his waist, lips on his neck – _I need you…please can we –_

“Hey, man, you okay?”

Keith had been so caught up in his vision, he hadn’t seen his friend return.

“I didn’t actually hurt you, did I?”

And that was the real problem, right there.

No matter how much Keith delighted in Lance’s occasional commanding moments, this was the side that had ultimately lead to his downfall – because Lance cared so much, and never tried to hide it. He noticed things others did not and acted on them in a way that was genuine.

_You and your stupid empathy,_ Keith thought ferociously back at the two blue eyes staring at him with concern; at the hand that reached out to gently touch his wrist.

“As if you could hurt me, Lance,” he said, before reaching for his bag and stepped backwards into the room. He let himself shoot one soft smile at his friend before closing the curtain between them. “Thanks for my bag,” he said, emboldened by the barrier between them. “Maybe once I’m clean we can cuddle like you said you wanted so badly.”

He hadn’t really expected Lance to respond, so he was turning away when he heard a chuckle from the other side of the curtain. “Just take your damn shower, you moron,” Lance mumbled before Keith heard him stomping away.

Both of them were showered and in the change of clothes they always carried on missions by the time one of the Ahldorians brought a tray of various unfamiliar foods the Ambassador had arranged for them to try if they were hungry.

There was something very domestic about sitting at a table in a room they were sharing, eating dinner while Lance chattered on about his family and whatever else came to mind.

The easy familiarity and comfort between them had developed long before they had officially become mission partners.

It was something Keith hadn’t noticed until one day he had returned from a mission with Axca and his mom, and had made a direct beeline to the McClain house instead of returning to his own small room at the Garrison. He had walked through the front door without knocking – seeing Lance’s parents on the couch and greeting them with an easy wave before heading up the stairs to Lance’s room. It had only been once he stood outside the half open door that he realized what he had done and how natural it had all felt.

Lance had pulled him into the room, worried by the look on his face, and sat him down on the bed until he was able to get out in a broken, stammering, round-about way that he felt like he was part of the family.

To this, of course, Lance had responded by twisting on the bed and pulling Keith into a firm embrace, laughing a little and assuring him just how much a part of the family he was, and he shouldn’t be scared of it.

It had been the only time he had let himself cry in front of Lance…and then Lance’s parents as they were called up to the room to confirm the statement. The conversation had ended with Keith laughing in the middle of a mess of McClain limbs.

Because of this, when Lance had announced his desire to return to space on missions, Keith had replied without missing a beat, “I’m heading to Denaal in two days. You should pack a coat because it gets pretty cold there.”

Lance had never questioned Keith’s assumption that they would be flying together, and Keith never brought it up for fear of losing what they had.

Because what they had was something Keith would never trade for anything in the universe.

After they finished eating, Keith radioed the Garrison to inform them of their extended stay, and then spent some time updating their mission report while Lance decided the temperature had grown cool enough that he wanted to start a fire in the hearth.

“You’re doing it on purpose.”

“No I’m not!” Lance snapped, looking up from his spot on the floor. There was a smudge on his nose, and his face was twisted in a scowl of frustration. “Wait – what am I doing?”

“Distracting me.” Keith motioned to his own nose and Lance absentmindedly wiped at the smudge, still scowling.

“It’s not my fault I’m distracting, Keith.” He glowered. “And it also not my fault this stupid thing won’t work!”

“Have you tried the –“

“Yes, I’ve tried the switch!” Lance threw up his hands in exasperation. “Of course I tried the fucking switch.”

It was always difficult for Keith to concentrate when Lance was working on something nearby. He would mutter to himself, flail his arms, and moments of calm would be shattered by raucous exclamations of excitement or frustration. The most distracting part of it all, however, was that Keith always found himself wanting to not be doing whatever menial task he was working on, and instead wanting to be with Lance, working on something together – teasing him and laughing with him, and just being with him.

“Wait!” Lance abruptly sat up perfectly straight, eyes widening. “What if I did that first and _then_ the switch?” He was off in his own world, then, hands fiddling with the mechanism of the fireplace as Keith shook his head and returned to his work.

Lance went quiet for long enough after that for Keith to actually concentrate on the report. He became so focused on writing out the details of their mission and everything they had learned of the inhabitants of Ahldor, that the soft touch of a hand on his shoulder made him start in surprise.

“Hey, man.” Lance looked very pleased with himself. “I bet you didn’t know I have magical powers.”

Keith tried to keep a straight face as he raised an eyebrow. “Did you make fire, Lance?”

Lance’s grin was brighter than any flame could be. He wagged a finger in Keith’s face. “I didn’t just make fire. I made blue fire.” He swept his arms out in a grand gesture toward the fireplace. “Tah dah!” He exclaimed, pride radiating off his features as he waggled his fingers. “ _Magic_.”

Keith sat up, peering past Lance toward the wall. “Or, as Pidge would say,” he countered, raising his hands and waggling his fingers in return. “ _Science_.”

“You don’t know. You weren’t watching.” Lance straightened up and put a hand on one hip, tilting his head. “Either way, though, even you gotta admit it’s cool. It’s like mood lighting!”

It was cool, although Keith refused to admit it and give Lance the satisfaction. He only offered him a smile before turning back to the tablet before him.

“You should come sit with me by the magic, blue fire.”

Keith turned back toward Lance, only to find his face serious and open. He was chewing on his lower lip.

“You can finish it on the way home, right?”

When Keith hesitated, Lance cocked a thumb toward the couch. “Come on, man. You’ve done enough work for tonight. Come sit with me.” A slow grin stretched across his face. “You know you want to. You know you’re sick of writing this stuff.”

Keith sighed, giving in. He did want to stop writing. He did want to just forget about his duties, and he really did want to go sit with Lance by the fire. Shutting off the tablet, he rose from the table, stretching and wincing as his muscles pulled from disuse. “You should be writing the report anyway. You’d make it much more interesting.”

Lance chuckled, taking him by the hand and dragging him over to the couch. “Nah. I don’t observe nearly as much as you. I tend to focus on, like, certain things and miss the important stuff.”

Keith fell onto the couch with a weary groan, stretching out his legs as Lance plopped down beside him. Twisting around, Lance lay back, his head resting on Keith’s thighs.

Keith sometimes marveled at the fact that he used to shy away from being touched, but now in any moments of downtime they had, it was rare for them not to lounge like this – leaning against one another.

Lance would sometimes play with his hair.

Keith would sometimes rub Lance’s shoulders after a long day of carrying his rifle.

Neither of them ever broached the barrier that would take their relationship into different territory, however – and Keith told himself that if he was allowed even these small moments with Lance, it would be enough.

It would have to be enough.

Keith grinned down at his friend. “That’s what I mean. Just imagine some stringent Garrison General going over your mission report, like _After finishing diplomatic interactions with the Ahldorians, we were brought to our private quarters by the personal assistant of the Ambassador – and she had the biggest fucking tits you’ve ever seen. 10/10 would bang.”_

That surprised a laugh out of Lance. His entire face scrunched up as he snorted, and Keith thrilled a little that he had been able to cause that reaction.

_“Except then, after being shown to our private quarters –“_ Lance added on to the imaginary log, holding up one finger. “ _Keith started talking about getting naked and walking around. Dear Garrison General reading this…was he hitting on me? I need your honest opinion.”_

Lance caught Keith’s hand as he smacked his fingers lightly against Lance’s chest. Not even the image of some appalled Garrison General could distract Keith from the feeling of Lance taking his hand and pressing his thumbs into Keith’s palm in a gentle massage. This was by far one of his favorite habits Lance had taken to doing after especially long sessions of typing up boring factual reports.

“For the record,” Lance murmured. “I would not _bang_ the assistant. And you know I don’t discriminate based on boob size. Or –“ he smirked, sliding his thumb firmly up the length of Keith’s middle finger before moving onto the others. “If they have any boobs at all.”

Keith remembered the blaze of hope that had lit up his chest when Lance had come out to him. He had carried around that fire for several days before the stinging realization settled in that just because Lance was into guys didn’t mean he would ever go for Keith.

“I wish we’d been friends like this sooner,” Lance confessed, the words coming out on a sigh. “I think it would have helped me figure a lot of things out if I had had someone I could have talked to about stuff, you know?”

It was moments like these Keith had to hold himself back. He wanted to lean down and press a kiss to Lance’s forehead. He wanted to tell him _I wish I would always be the one you talk to. I wish I could tell you everything._

“We can talk about stuff, now,” he said instead.

He had meant it to be reaffirming, but strangely, it made Lance go quiet and still, eyebrows pulling together and mouth turning down in a concentrated frown.

Keith disentangled his hand from Lance’s grip and smoothed his thumb over the crease between Lance’s brows. “Hey. You’ll get wrinkles.”

“Actually…there is something I’ve been meaning to…” The fact that Lance breezed past the wrinkles comment made Keith’s heart sink. Only actual serious things made Lance ignore any potential damage to his skin. “Look, I just want to say I’m sorry.”

That took Keith completely by surprise. “What for?”

Lance tilted his head back to give him a small apologetic smile. “Oh, come on. We both know I was a total dick to you in the beginning.”

Keith raised one eyebrow. “And I was better?”

That caused Lance to snort. “Okay, fair. But, either way,” he continued. “I still want to apologize. Even though it was a long time ago, I don’t…I don’t want you to think I ever hated you. Because I never did. I never even, like, actually _disliked_ you, you stupid, talented asshole.”

Keith didn’t know what to say to that. He let his head fall against the backrest of the couch. His fingers unconsciously began to trace across Lance’s forehead, brushing over his temple and tucking his short hair behind his ear.

“Since we’re…talking,” he said quietly, eyes fixed on a spot on the ceiling. “I should tell you that I never disliked you either. I was just…I’ve always kind of been jealous of you, and I didn’t know how to handle it when I was younger.”

Lance swung his legs over the edge of the couch, and, in one swift motion, righted himself and leaned into Keith’s personal space, eyes wide. “ _What?”_

Keith only gave a little shrug, wishing he would lie back down in his lap.

“No, seriously – _what?”_ Lance pressed. “ _You_ were jealous of _me?_ How is that even possible?”

Keith put his whole hand over Lance’s face, pushing him back until he was far enough away to be less distracting. “You’re making this into a bigger deal than it is.”

“It is a _huge_ deal. It’s the biggest deal to ever…deal!” Lance pulled one knee up, hugging it to his chest, his face awash in utter disbelief. “Why in the actual fuck were you jealous of me?”

Keith let his mind wander back through the years, peeping into Garrison classrooms and slinking down castle ship hallways. “Because…you are everything I’m not,” he said finally. “You – I don’t know, Lance – you just make everything fun. You light up every room you walk into. You’re so good with people, and everyone just… _likes_ you. You go out of your way to make everyone feel welcome, but you don’t make it look like you’re going out of your way.” A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “You’re funny, and supportive, and loyal. Like _fiercely_ loyal and loving. You love your family and your friends so much, and it’s obvious they all love you equally because it’s kind of impossible not to.” He raised one hand, palm up. “You…make things better by just existing.”

After an oddly long moment of silence, he dared to peek at his friend – only to find Lance just…staring at him with an odd expression he’d never seen before.

“Keith…” his name was a hoarse whisper before Lance shook his head abruptly, breaking out of whatever daze he had fallen into. “Wait, no. Because you said – in the beginning you said ‘you are everything I’m not,’ so all those nice things…all those incredible things you just said about me, you think none of them apply to you.”

Keith let out a groan, shifting his gaze back toward the ceiling and folding his arms across his stomach. “I didn’t say any of that to make you pity me. Just take the compliment!”

Out of the corner of his eye, Keith caught movement as Lance flapped a hand through the air. “Okay. Taken. Thanks, man, that was very sweet of you – but now it’s my turn.”

_“Lance –“_

“I was always jealous of you, too.” Lance cut him off. “You could always do everything. I think you are literally a natural at everything you try. I always felt like you were one step ahead of me, and no matter what I did, I could never catch up. You are stronger and smarter and faster and more capable than anyone I’ve ever met. But you know what I realized?” He poked Keith’s shoulder until he raised his head to reluctantly meet Lance’s eyes. “I used to think I wanted to surpass you, but that was never what I actually wanted. I wanted to catch up to you so we could just…walk side by side, you know? Because I think you’ve been lonely for most of your life. I think somewhere in your mind, you still believe you are going to spend your life alone.”

“Being alone isn’t a bad thing.” Keith looked away, tracing one finger over the seam of the couch cushion as he tried to distract himself from the earnest look in Lance’s eyes and the nagging voice in his own head whispering _he’s right_.

“Yeah, but it’s not always a great thing, either. I was lonely when you were gone during our time with Voltron, and it was the _worst!”_

“What do you mean? You had the team and –“

“It was different.” The fact that Lance was admitting this now hurt more than Keith realized it could, because it meant Lance had been hanging onto this for years without ever saying anything. “When you were gone, it just…wasn’t the same, and I missed that. I missed you.”

“You had no one to make fun of?”

Lance was quiet for a moment. When his answer came, it was subdued. “Something like that.”

They both fell into a tenuous silence – broken after a minute by Lance, who inhaled sharply, letting his breath out in a huff.

“Anyway, I was also super jealous of you because practically everyone at the Garrison wanted to get in your pants.”

Keith couldn’t help his derisive snort at such a ridiculous statement. “Yeah, okay,” he said, voice thick with sarcasm. “Everyone at the Garrison hated me. Or they were scared of me. Or both.”

“Yeah, and no one has ever wanted to hook up with someone who scared them a little.” Lance matched his sarcasm and dialed it up a notch. “Dude, you were the broody, mysterious bad boy – and it made you even hotter.”

Keith pushed himself away from the couch, sitting forward so he could fully turn to look Lance dead in the face. “You hit your head or something?”

Lance gave him look for look. “Um…Keith, you know you’re, like, really good looking, right? Mullet and all.”

“It’s not a mullet!” he snapped, leaning back and raising his arms in defeat. “And I was right. You’ve officially lost it.”

“Of course I have,” Lance drawled. “But, then again, you didn’t have to listen to what everyone said about you as soon as you left the room.” His finger poked into Keith’s ribs, making him squirm and bat the offending hand away. “James Griffin, for example? He might as well have just ripped his shirt open while yelling _Keith, take me, now.”_

He laughed, but at the mention of that name, Keith went very still. He pulled both knees up onto the couch and looped his arms around them, hiding his face as his ears started to go red. “Um…actually he wasn’t really the _take me_ type,” he mumbled. “More the other way around.”

Lance’s laughter died as quickly as it had begun. “Wait, Keith –“ there was something strange about his tone that Keith couldn’t put his finger on. It almost sounded like…betrayal. “You and James –?”

Keith shrugged, unwilling to raise his head and face his friend. “Yeah. He liked to blow off steam, and I guess I was, um…convenient?”

“ _Convenient?”_ Lance sounded aghast. “And wait, I thought be bullied you.”

“Yeah. But then one day he had me pinned up against the lockers and he just started kissing me out of nowhere, and I figured – whatever – it was better than getting into a fight and possibly getting kicked out the Garrison, so…” He finally raised his head, leaning back with a sigh. “It’s not a big deal.”

Lance’s eyes were fixed on the ground at his feet, mouth set in a scowl. “Keith, if you didn’t want to do it…it kindof is a big deal.”

As the implication of Lance’s words struck him, he quickly tried to backtrack. “No, wait – no, it’s not –“ Groaning in frustration, he ran a hand through his hair, wishing he’d just kept his mouth shut about this. “It’s not like that, okay? Yeah, James was a dick, but he’s not… It’s okay, Lance.” The expression on Lance’s face had Keith fighting the urge to reach out and touch him in a pitiful attempt at comfort. He didn’t know why Lance seemed to be taking this so personally, but even after all this time, he was still learning what having a true friend was like, and things like this were probably normal.

“You shouldn’t have ever been a _convenience_. You shouldn’t have ever had to settle – you’re better than that! You could have had anyone –“

That drew a laugh from Keith at the irony of it all. “Well, I didn’t want _anyone_ , Lance.”

That caught Lance’s attention, and he seemed to snap back to himself, eyes bright and blazing in the strange blue light from the fire as he turned on Keith. “You said that like you wanted someone in particular. Did you…have a crush on someone at the Garrison?”

They were straying too close to the truth, now, and Keith had never been good at lying when put on the spot. “Yeah,” he said, carefully choosing words that were still true, but didn’t give anything away. “But it was a lost cause.”

“Oh.” Then, “Well, can you tell me who it was?”

“No.” Keith knew he answered too quickly, and in his haste to cover it up, some unintentional truth slipped out. “Because it’s not exactly over, so –“

Lance gaped at him as he felt his cheeks turning red. He quickly shifted forward, leaning his elbows on his knees as he tried to block Lance from his field of vision. But the damage had been done.

“Keith –“

_Change the subject,_ his mind was screaming at him. _Don’t go down this path._

“Actually, Lance,” he interrupted. “You could probably help me with this.”

“With what?”

“I’ve had these huge, annoying feelings for years, and they just won’t go away no matter how many times I convince myself it’s pointless.” He was treading on dangerous ground; trying to find the precise words felt like threading his way through an asteroid field.

“So how can I help?”

“Well, you’re constantly hitting on people everywhere we go, right? So you must have dealt with your fair share of rejection.”

“ _Thanks_.”

“I just want to know what helps you get over someone?”

_Tell me how to get over you,_ his mind supplied, knowing how ridiculous the request actually was.

“Like how to move on?” When Keith nodded, he felt Lance shift beside him, and he chanced a look back at his friend. This was a mistake, because Lance’s eyes were trained on Keith’s face as if he was trying to read something there; trying to see something below the surface – and Keith made an extra effort to keep his face exceptionally blank.

After a moment, Lance sighed, letting his propped knee fall to the side as his shoulders raised in a defeated shrug. “Honestly, I don’t think I’m the right person to talk to about this,” he said. “I’ve also been kindof…hung up on someone for a while, now, and it’s doesn’t seem to be going away, either. But –“ His eyes darted nervously to Keith’s face before he hurriedly looked away, hands fidgeting in his lap. “One thing that’s worked a couple times in the past is, you know… _blowing off steam_ with someone else.”

The image entered Keith’s mind uninvited _– leaning forward, letting his hands slide up Lance’s chest as he pushed him back onto the couch; climbing on top of him until he was –_ He quickly shook it off before his body started to react in a way he couldn’t hide. “Yeah, well, I don’t really have a lot of options for that.”

“Seriously?” Lance snorted, and it released some of the tension in his shoulders. “Just look at literally anyone with those goddamn bedroom eyes and it’s a sure thing.”

“I don’t have _bedroom eyes.”_

Lance brushed this off as his fidgeting returned. “ _Or_ , there’s the obvious solution you seem to be completely missing, here.”

“Which is?”

“We’re not going anywhere anytime soon. We could…help each other out.”

Keith’s heart leapt in his chest – only to immediately plummet into the dark chasm where he stored his dashed hopes. The sting of it all made his tone edge on bitterness. “Um, yeah…that’s not going to work out for me.”

Lance’s whole demeanor seemed to wilt. “Right. Yeah. Completely stupid of me to even –“

“That’s not what I’m saying.”

It was getting too close to the truth again, and Keith willed Lance to just drop the subject before he blurted out something he’d regret.

Except Lance had never been one to just let things go. “Then what were you saying?”

“I’m saying that you can’t help me with this, Lance.”

“Right. I knew that. It’s a stupid suggestion so can you just –“

Keith heard the hurt Lance was trying to mask in his voice, and unfortunately that made him angry. And his anger made him reckless. “ _No_ ,” he snapped, because this was dangerous ground, but he also couldn’t have Lance believing that Keith would have ever actually chosen James over him. “It’s not a stupid suggestion, it’s a stupid _solution_ because –“

“It’s all good, Keith. I get it.”

“No!” Keith’s frustration broke like a rubber band stretched to its limit. “No, you don’t fucking get it! Because your solution is to use each other to get over someone else – but I can’t do that, because there is no _someone else!_ Because you are the one I –“ The harsh realization of his words hit him with all the unwelcomed force of a bucket of ice to the face – and he choked back the rest of the sentence. Rising to his feet, he nearly tripped in his haste to get off the couch, stalking away and swearing under his breath. Maybe Lance hadn’t heard. Maybe he wouldn’t understand. Maybe he could still say something to fix this. Maybe he could do _something_ so as not to lose the best thing that had ever happened to him.

Behind him, he heard the couch creak as Lance got to his feet.

“I’m the one you…what?”

Keith squeezed his eyes shut, fighting off the wave of despair that was settling over him.

“Keith –“

“Just forget it,” Keith growled. “Just…just pretend I never said anything.”

“Um yeah, no. Definitely can’t do that.”

Keith was glad his back was turned so Lance wasn’t able to see how badly his hands were shaking. He folded his arms, hugging them tight against his chest as he drew in a long breath, letting grim acceptance settle into his heart.

This was the moment he had feared.

This was the moment he would have to face reality.

This was the moment everything would change.

This was the moment he would lose everything.

Gathering his courage, he slowly turned around to face Lance.

His friend stood several feet away, arms at his sides, one eyebrow raised – looking the very definition of casual. Except Keith had seen Lance – been with Lance, comforted Lance – through high points and low points; through every emotion imaginable. And right now, he could see just how much Lance was holding back – confusion and anxiousness; distress and presumption.

“It won’t change anything. It _hasn’t_ changed anything.” Keith wanted to sound reassuring, but it only came out as desperation. “I promise you, I will get over it, so you don’t have to –“

“Get over _what_ , Keith?” The strained, breathless tone of Lance’s voice gave away any illusion of calm. “I’m assuming _a lot_ right now, so I need to actually hear you say it or – or this could all end up in a horrible misunderstanding.”

Keith wanted to run. He wanted to brush it off and move on; go back to the way things were before because it was good. What they had was so good, if he said any more, Lance would never see him the same again.

The intensity in Lance’s eyes pinned him in place – backed into a corner with no means of escape – because he knew, and Lance knew, that Keith was a horrible liar.

So there was no other option but to tell the truth.

His shoulders slumped as he reached that decision. “I’m sorry –”

_Stop talking!_ His mind screamed at him.

“I’m really sorry, Lance, but…it’s you.”

_You’re going to drive him away!_

“I’ve been trying to get over…you.”

_He’s going to leave you like everyone else…_

His feet stayed rooted to the spot, despite every atom in his body wanting to move, to run, to leave before he could see the rejection on Lance’s face.

Lance drew in an audible breath before shakily letting it out. “O-okay.” For once his face was unreadable, and that made everything worse. “Okay. But you’re… _not_ over – me…are you?”

Keith’s bottom lip stung as he clamped it between his teeth, hoping the sharp pain would help him keep everything under control as he braced himself for what was about to come. Not trusting his voice in that moment, he only managed a quick shake of his head in answer to the question.

_I’ll never get over you_ , his mind whispered, soft and sad and certain.

“Okay,” Lance said again. He had been saying that a lot. “Then…all those times before – shit, today, even! Those things you said and did – getting all up in my face, smiling like that and talking about being _naked_ and stuff. You were – you actually _were_ hitting on me! Fucking _fuck_ , Keith – you’ve been flirting with me!”

Lance’s voice had risen at the end, and for the first time in several minutes he sounded like himself. The familiarity of it guided Keith out of the spiral of despair he was slowly sinking into, like a rope he could grab and use to haul himself back toward something less pathetic. “I don’t know, okay?” he snapped. “Sometimes I just say things – sometimes the truth just slips out a little and I’m sorry. I’ll try not to –“

“Don’t be sorry!” Lance was grinning – the wide, bright grin that lit up his entire face. The one that always made Keith’s heart flutter in his chest. “I can’t believe this!”

Seeing that smile on Lance’s face in this context, however, made something sour creep through Keith’s heart. “Right. You learned my big secret. Now you can go spill it all over the Garrison to anyone we knew back then –“

“Oh, if I could, I’d make a formal announcement to brag about it over the Atlas’s comms!” Lance put a hand on his hip, that infuriatingly grin still plastered across his face. “Because this might just be the greatest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Keith had never liked being talked about. He had always wanted to mind his own business and let others mind theirs.

He knew, realistically, Lance would never actually make a stupid announcement like that, but still, he knew how quickly word could circulate and rumors could spread. He remembered being stopped in the hallways of the Garrison – cornered in the gym locker room, approached at the end of class, followed on his way back to his dorm…

_Hey Kogane, James bragged to all of us how he got you to suck him off, so how about you do it for me, too?_

_You think you’re so tough. Bet you wouldn’t look so tough with my dick in your mouth._

_James said you let him make out with you. Can I practice on you so I’m good when I get a girlfriend? Two bros helping each other out?_

“Hey, what did I say?”

Keith realized too late his thoughts must have been bleeding through, because he was suddenly face to face with a very close, very concerned Lance.

“You know I wouldn’t do anything to make you uncomfortable. I was just joking around, like we do. Obviously I’m not gonna go around telling people stuff you didn’t want me to tell.”

Keith shook his head, trying to clear away the negative memories and focus on the current issue. “I know, I know. I’ve just had to deal with a lot of straight guys who like to brag –“

“Not straight, but okay.”

_“I know.”_ Keith clenched his teeth, not really sure what point he was trying to make. He just wanted Lance to reject him and get it over with. Didn’t he realize that dragging it out like this wasn’t going to make it any less painful? “But even so it doesn’t mean –“

“Very not straight. _Extremely_ not straight, I might say,” Lance added, as if Keith hadn’t said anything. “And most of that’s to do with you.”

None of this made any sense. The crooked grin tugging at Lance’s mouth didn’t make any sense. He looked like he had asked Keith a riddle where the answer was so obvious to him that he couldn’t believe Keith hadn’t figured it out already.

“I contributed to you…not being straight?”

Lance leaned in slightly, and Keith held his breath, unsure of what was about to happen next. Lance only made a face at him, though. “ _Hello_. I grew up with you, remember? I got to watch you fly and fight and train and _lead_. I was there when you came back from your space whale vacation thing and you were just –“ He stepped back, letting his eyes purposely drag down Keith’s body and back up. “That’s when Hunk caught on, by the way. He cornered me after you got back when we all finally had a break and he was just like _Hey, dude…you keep bringing up Keith’s whole new look, and you’re kind of staring at him a lot_.” He broke off, laughing at the memory.

Keith felt his eye twitch because it was not a memory he liked. It was something they had never talked about, and he often wondered if Lance remembered that moment with as much resentment as he did. “You called me grizzled. Like I’d shown up with a full lumberjack beard or something.”

Lance was still chuckling as he waved a hand in Keith’s general direction. “I mean, beard aside – I stand by it. I was trying not to just full out ogle you in front of your mom!”

Keith’s mouth suddenly felt dry. “So you…find me attractive.”

All traces of laughter vanished from Lance’s face in favor of a slow, languid blink. “Keith, buddy, my man – you do remember that earlier in this conversation I called you hot and literally suggested we have sex, right? Like before you even went off and dropped that atomic fucking crush bomb on me. Do I really need to spell it out for you?”

Just as Lance had backed Keith into a corner before, he did so, now, in return – because Lance had never once walked on eggshells around him. Not once had he told Keith something just to be polite, or because he thought omitting the truth would spare Keith’s feelings.

He had also never once backed away from a challenge Keith presented him, and so –

“Yes.” Keith crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. “I just told you my biggest secret. So yeah. Spell it out for me. I want to hear you say it to my face.”

This was the test. If Lance had just been joking around, this is when the truth would come out. He suspected Lance realized it, too – realized what he was doing – because he went unusually still and serious.

Slowly, he took one step closer, reaching out, his hand only hesitating for a second before he lightly dragged his knuckles along Keith’s jaw. “Hey, Keith? I get to see you in the moments you think no one is watching. I don’t just think you’re attractive…sometimes I can’t even believe you’re real.”

Keith was trying his best not to lean into Lance’s lingering touch against his cheek. “O-oh okay. Well…thank you?”

“You’re welcome?” Lance’s smile was caught somewhere between incredulous and fond.

“Okay, but – well, I mean, that’s really nice to know, but we can’t…d-do anything.” Keith pulled Lance’s hand away from his face, raising both of his is begrudging surrender. He shifted back several steps, needing to put some distance between them because he could still feel the lingering touch on his skin.

“Wait, why not?” To his credit, Lance sounded genuinely disappointed.

“Because it’s different?” Keith took another step back. “Like I told you in the beginning, your solution wouldn’t work. Because I’m actually in…I mean –“ He stumbled around the words, his cheeks heating up. “Look, if we had sex – if we did anything – it would help you take your mind off of whoever you’re trying to get over for however long it lasted, but for me, it would only make everything more real, and that’s not…not fair.”

“Man…what are you talking about?”

“Before –“ Keith made a vague gesture with his hand. “You said we could help each other out by hooking up. You said you also had someone you were hung up on, and – what?” When his confusion only made Lance laugh harder, he began to scowl. “What is so funny?”

“You’re so out of touch with your own damn self, I can’t even believe it!” Lance was still laughing as he waved his hands in Keith’s direction. “You honestly think I could have sex with you and then go back to thinking about someone else? You think I could actually have been watching you all these years and be hung up on _someone else?”_ His laughter tapered off, until all that remained was a tender smile as he cocked his head to one side. “What did you say before? _There is no someone else?_ I was talking about you, man. I guess you’re just braver than I am and admitted it first.”

“I’m not out of touch.”

“Yeah, you are, because I called you hot and you implied I had brain damage.” Lance jabbed a finger at him. “And it wasn’t the fishing for compliments kind of _oh no don’t say that, but please go on_ kind of thing. You genuinely thought _how could anyone see me like that_ – and that, my friend, is crazy!”

“People don’t see themselves the way others see them, Lance!” Keith folded his arms, scowling. “You don’t see yourself how you should, either.” Impulsively – driven on by some brief surge of confidence and the need to make his point – he stalked back over to where Lance stood. “Do you look at yourself in the mirror and think _this is the smile that makes it really hard for Keith to concentrate on anything_ or _oh_ _look at me – I’m a total badass and I’m really selfless and kind and I have really great skin?”_

_“_ To be fair,” Lance conceded. “I am perfectly aware of how good my skin is. It’d better be good with how much work I put into it.”

“Well it is.” Keith threw his hands up into the air. “It’s fucking flawless and it’s really distracting. And sometimes you do this _stretch_ that just shows off your body and your fucking flexibility and I just want to grab you –“

“So do it.”

Keith recoiled a little, eyes searching Lance’s face. “What?”

_“Do it.”_

In almost every one of Keith’s previous experiences, he had seen hesitancy veiled behind a shroud of lust in his partner’s eyes. Most of the boys had been unsure of themselves – still trying to figure things out, or trying to convince themselves it didn’t mean anything. It was just a phase for them; just an experiment. Just a way to get off.

None of them had been there for Keith.

They had all just wanted someone. Keith always knew most of them had been imagining someone else’s face, someone else’s hands, someone else’s body, and he had told himself it was fine that way – because he had been imagining someone else as well.

Except here in this moment, there was no hesitancy in Lance’s expression.

There was challenge. There was warmth. There was a hint of Keith’s own feelings mirrored back in his eyes.

And yet, despite all that, this time Keith was the one who hesitated, because…

“Lance, I can’t lose you as a friend.”

He didn’t mean for it to come out sounding so small, so fragile. So laden with truth.

There was so much more behind his words, and he didn’t know how to convey it in a way that would make Lance understand exactly how much their friendship meant to him. There was a gravity, a history – a need to hang onto this odd, unique, _vital_ partnership of theirs with all of his strength and never let go.

Lance let out a breath, his face twisting into something sympathetic and understanding. “I know.” His hands reached out briefly before he rejected the action, choosing instead to wrap his arms loosely around his torso. “Believe me, I know. That’s why I never tried to take this any further.” His shoulders slumped a little with the long, weary sigh he let out. Casting a forlorn look at Keith, he pressed his lips together in a tight line before bowing his head and trudging over to the futon. He let himself plop down onto the edge of it, arms propped on bent knees.

“What we’ve got right now –“ Lance continued, as Keith slowly made his way over and took a seat beside him. “It’s something special. It’s something I don’t have with anyone else, and I don’t _want_ to have with anyone else.” He laughed, low and humorless. “It’s something that, if it were to end – if something ruined this, and especially if I was the one who ruined this – I’m pretty sure it would just break my heart right down the middle.” His hand cut through the air in a sharp, chopping motion. “I’m happy with this,” he continued in a voice he saved only for the most momentous decisions or discussions. “I’m happy with you, as we are, but…man, there’s just something about you that makes me want more. There’s something that just makes me think that if we were just brave enough to take that extra step, what we have could turn into something even better. Like…a forever thing, you know?”

Impulsively, Keith reached across the gap between them, turning just enough so he could run his fingers over Lance’s outstretched hand, tracing over his knuckles. “I’m happy, too.” Admitting this – talking about it, and having Lance understand his feelings – was like lifting an unseen weight piece by piece from his chest. “With you. With this. Of course I’m happy. But I also think about more. Except when I do, all I start thinking about is that what if we did something – what if we tried to take this a step further – and what if that was the thing that finally made you leave?”

“Keith…” Lance’s voice was quiet and sad, and it made Keith tear his gaze away from the path he was tracing on Lance’s hand. “You’re the one who leaves.”

“What?”

Lance sighed, turning to face Keith, wrapping his fingers around his hand before he could pull away. His fingers curled around Keith’s wrist like he was preparing to hold him back from some invisible force that would try to separate them. “I’m not the kind of person who leaves. I stay. I’ve always stayed. But…I’ve had to watch you walk away so many times I’ve honestly lost count. That’s why I’m here right now. That’s why we’re flying together. Because I can’t watch you leave anymore. So if that’s what holding you back…if you think you’re somehow going to drive me away or scare me off, I can tell you right now that’s never going to happen.” He gave Keith’s wrist a squeeze. “I’m not going to leave, Keith. I’m not going to walk away.”

“But you think I will.” It wasn’t a question, Lance had already confirmed that much. It was something Keith had never considered – except the moment he heard it, he knew it was true. He knew that somewhere along the way he had made up his mind that everyone would leave eventually, and that if he preemptively chose when that separation happened it would be less painful.

But it had still hurt.

Every time no one asked him to stay. Every time no one stopped him leaving, it hurt – even when he convinced himself it didn’t.

Except…everything was different with Lance.

He was a fixed point in Keith’s life.

He had been there at the Garrison – loud and smiling and always, _always_ around.

He had shown up at the crash sight when Keith had found Shiro – barging in, filling the room with his voice and his presence.

And Keith hadn’t wanted him there – smiling, joking, crowding into Keith’s space; cheerful and noisy and constant.

He had been there in the castle ship, showing up in places Keith thought no one would find – listening and offering his real thoughts in return.

And Keith hadn’t wanted him…always inclusive, always observant, always there when he was needed.

Supportive and loyal and strong and sympathetic…and always, always there.

Keith hadn’t wanted him…except he had.

When no one else had cared; when no one else had noticed, when no one else had bothered, Lance had found a way to sneak past the shield Keith had built around himself, worming his way into his heart and settling down.

When everyone else had let him leave, Lance had been there to see him off with a soft smile and a quiet plea: _Come back soon._

And every time…

“I came back to you.” In retrospect, Keith knew his feelings must have been so obvious to anyone observing – but it’s always difficult to see the full hurricane from the eye of the storm. “Yeah, I left, but I always came back to you. Not to Earth. Not to the Garrison. Not to my job. To _you_. Because you asked me to. Because I wanted to. Because I couldn’t stand to be away from you. Because this is so important to me, Lance. You are so important.”

They had both fully turned to face one another, now. Lance still clasped one of Keith’s hands in both of his, the strange blue fire giving his eyes an inner light.

“I really want to kiss you right now,” Lance whispered.

“Then you should do something about it,” Keith whispered back, because whatever line they were about to cross, he felt like they had both decided to cross is hand in hand and face whatever lay on the other side.

He heard Lance draw in a short, nervous breath before he was leaning forward – and Keith was closing his eyes.

In past experiences, he had always been kissed hurriedly. It had always been bouts of hormonal passion or drunken fumbling. It had been rough and messy and nothing special.

So Keith hadn’t realized it was possible for his stomach to swoop at the simplest touch as Lance pressed their lips together. He hadn’t realized that the feeling of someone cradling his head in gentle hands could make all his senses come alive.

He hadn’t realized that kissing someone who took their time and savored every second of it could make the universe stop spinning – but in that moment, as Lance’s hand slid into his hair, nothing else mattered. As their lips parted – breath hitching, heads tilting to a better angle – before diving back in for another kiss, nothing else existed.

Keith’s hands had latched onto Lance’s shoulders, and he allowed himself a little indulgence, letting his fingers glide along Lance’s arms, tracing the curve of his lean muscles, before sliding back up and looping around his shoulder, fingers gripping his shirt.

The thought blindsided Keith with such sudden intensity, he found himself breaking away from the kiss.

They stayed, foreheads pressed together, catching their breaths, until Keith worked up the courage to raise his eyes and look at Lance.

And Lance was smiling; warm and giddy and awestruck.

He let one thumb stroke gently across the crest of Keith’s cheekbone as his lips formed one reverent, intimate, whispered word.

“ _Hey_.”

“I don’t think I can just be friends after that.” Keith blurted – the thought from before returning with a vengeance – urging, hoping, _needing_ Lance to feel the same way.

“I don’t think we were ever meant to be _just_ friends.” Lance pushed their foreheads back together, fingers combing Keith’s hair away from his face.

Keith’s breath left his lungs – fragile and shaky and catching on the tail end in a wave of relief so palpable, Lance seemed to feel it, too, because he laughed, and it was like the sound of someone opening their fingers and watching a butterfly flutter off toward the sun.

Lance drew back, rapping his knuckles against Keith’s chest. “Hey, this is good. This is gonna work. Do you know why? You know why this is a good decision? Because remember, we make a good team.”

Keith gave Lance a little shove, letting himself topple backwards onto the futon with a drawn-out groan of annoyance. “ _Ugh_. Fuck you.”

He heard Lance snicker, and then felt a hand pulling on his ankles until his legs were stretched out, resting halfway off the futon. Lance leaned over into Keith’s field of vision, propping his weight on one arm as he cocked his head, lower lip clamped between his teeth. “I mean…that’s definitely on the table for me. Just let me know what you want, Keith.”

It was warm and affectionate, and it stilled Keith’s fluttering heart.

He let his eyes drift unabashedly over Lance’s face, taking it all in.

There was trust, and shared experience. There was heartbreak and laughter in the faint lines that crinkled at the corners of his eyes whenever he smiled. There was ferocity and determination and an unshakable will in the curve of his mouth.

Keith could picture every emotion playing across his face, because he had seen them all. And, in a surge of clarity so powerful it took away his breath, he realized that he knew this expression, too.

He had seen this expression on Lance’s face countless times –

_– opening the door to his parent’s house with a yelp of surprise and a blinding smile._

_– smirking wickedly from behind a sword as they squared off together in a sparring match._

_– catching his eye from across a crowded conference room or alien banquet hall._

_– lying beside him on the floor of the ship in the brief, quiet moments before they fell asleep._

No matter the situation; no matter the circumstances, Lance’s expression would eventually fade into the one he wore, now, looking down at Keith – and for the first time Keith recognized it for what it really was.

Before he knew it, Keith found himself reaching out, hands running up Lance’s arms. He found his arms circling Lance’s shoulders; fingers linking behind his neck, pulling him downwards. “I just…” he found himself whispering. “Want you.”

Something fervent flashed across Lance’s face as he leaned down. “That’s good. That’s really good,” he breathed against Keith’s lips. “Because I want you too. So fucking much…you have no idea –“

Keith latched a hand onto the nape of Lance’s neck, pulling him down the rest of the way. Their lips came together briefly before Lance settled over Keith, tilting his head. The next kiss was deep and lingering as they both let themselves grow accustomed to the other’s touch.

Keith’s hands began to explore – moving slowly at first, testing the waters.

He remembered every time he had watched Lance’s long legs stretch out before him, his body bending in ways that were impossible for most people as he warmed up before a sparring match – and how much he had wanted to run his hands up those legs, pushing him back onto the training mat and seeing just how far he could bend. He remembered every time Lance had stood beside him, weapon in hand, adrenaline still pumping through his veins, hair disheveled from battle, wild-eyed and grinning – and how it had taken every ounce of self control not to reach out and grab him, pulling him in for a kiss.

He didn’t have to hold back, now – and as Lance began to respond to his touch. he grew bolder, hands sliding down Lance’s sides, smoothing over the curve of his hips, finger digging in with purpose, pulling him closer.

The shift made Lance draw in a breath, breaking away from their kiss. He hovered above Keith for a moment, eyes closed.

“You really want me, Keith?” For the first time that night, his voice took on a note of uncertainty – and there was no way Keith was having that. Not right now. Not after they’d come this far.

Lance let out a little yelp of surprise as Keith kicked one leg over his waist and flipped them so he was the one propped above Lance, straddling his hips.

Lance stared up at Keith with wide eyes. His mouth was open as if he wanted to say something, but the words seemed to have caught in his throat.

“Don’t play dumb with me.” Keith let his voice grow low and feral. “I know you do things deliberately because you are fully aware of how you look to anyone watching.” He lowered his head, letting his breath ghost across Lance’s skin as he dragged his nose up the curve of his neck from collarbone to ear. “And I’ve been watching, Lance.” Taking one earlobe lightly between his teeth, he gave it a little tug. “I’ve been watching you for years. I’ve been wanting you for years.” He was caught up in the moment; intoxicated by the smell of Lance’s bodywash as he nuzzled against the skin below his jaw, body set alight by the feel of Lance’s hands gripping his thighs. “There are so many things I’ve thought about doing to you…so many things I’ve imagined you doing to me. I’m tired of holding back, so it’s not about how much I want you. It’s always been about you, so what do _you_ want?”

Lance’s right hand left Keith’s thigh, only to bury itself in his hair – fingers winding around dark strands, tugging his head back just far enough so their eyes could meet. That same adrenaline-fueled wildfire was in Lance’s eyes, and Keith couldn’t help but match his expression.

He almost felt like laughing; like throwing his head back and giving in to the roiling mess of emotions surging through him, igniting every last nerve.

“No,” Lance breathed. “No more holding back.”

Keith didn’t protest as he was flipped onto his back and pressed into the futon. Lance’s hands wrapped around both of his wrists, pinning his arms over his head as he positioned himself between Keith’s bent knees.

“You know what I want?” Lance pulled his face just far enough away so as to be out of range as Keith tried push up and capture his lips in a kiss.

Keith almost growled at him for the denial, and it must have shown on his face because Lance’s eyes sparked with roguish delight as he tightened his hold on Keith’s wrists.

There was something oddly exciting about being pinned by someone you trusted. Keith knew that if he said the word, or if he actually tried, he could easily break free, so choosing to stay pinned didn’t feel like a submission in a way that would have made him feel weak. It felt like agreement; like an acknowledgement of trust between them.

“I want to make up for all the time we’ve lost because both of us were too stupid and scared to say anything.” With each word, Lance’s competitive expression faded into something heartfelt and amorous. “I want to touch you the way I always wished I could. I want my hands on you. I want my mouth on you. I want to be inside you and watch your face as you fall apart.”

In that moment, hearing those words spoken to him in such a hushed, devoted way, Keith wasn’t strong enough to manage anything other than a breathless, “ _Okay_.”

“Okay?” Lance echoed – for a moment looking and sounding like his everyday self. “Really? I mean…you’d be fine with…that way?”

Keith gave a small nod, hoping his face was turning as red as it felt. “Uh…yeah, I guess. I have always been curious how it would feel with…um, something other than –” he broke off, wiggling his fingers.

Lance seemed to choke on his own breath. He let go of Keith’s wrists and sat back on his heels, eyes wide and unblinking.

Keith pushed himself up onto his arms, frowning – wondering what he had done wrong.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, I’m sorry –” Lance waved both hands in front of his face. “You’re not actually saying –“ He broke off with a disbelieving laugh. “But earlier you said you and James had…”

_Oh_.

Keith shook his head. “I never actually said James and I had sex. We mainly just made out or he had me blow him because I think he could pretend I was a girl that way.”

“Wait, so you’re…” Lance looked like his head was about to explode. “Are you a virgin?”

“I mean, obviously I’ve done stuff.” Keith thought about it for a second, then shrugged. “But if you’re asking if I’ve ever been fucked…then, no. I haven’t. I guess, yeah…you would be the first.”

Lance gaped at him for a solid 30 seconds before he snapped his mouth shut with an audible click of teeth. Rocking forward, he reached out, wrapping his arms around Keith and pulling him into a hug. Lance buried his face in the crook of Keith’s neck, voice muffled against his shirt. “Okay. Cool. No pressure or anything.”

“There is no pressure.” Keith traced a comforting hand up and down the stretch of Lance’s spine he could reach. “We don’t have to do anything you –“

“Hey man, shut up, okay?” It was spoken tenderly. “I just didn’t think that I would spend all that time chasing after you, and now I’m about to take your fucking V card on an alien planet.” He raised his head, bumping their noses together. “But it does seem weirdly fitting, don’t you think?”

It was probably meant to be rhetorical, but Keith actually considered it for a moment. “It is fitting,” he agreed. “Having sex while technically still on a mission before we ever even went on a date, or you wore me down with awful pick-up lines? Yeah, sounds about right to me.”

“We could, though.”

“What?”

“Go on a date. After this. If you wanted. We could…”

Keith’s heart stuttered in his chest, and he tried to mask it with a smile. “We should probably see how the sex goes first, shouldn’t we?”

“Um, _excuse_ me –“ A spark leaped back into Lance’s eye at that. “Are you implying it might be bad?”

Keith gave the most nonchalant head tilt he could muster. “I mean, who knows?”

The spark turned into a flame. “Oh, it is on. I’m gonna make you cum so hard you’ll skip right past the dates and want to marry me on the spot!”

“Oh, yeah?” Keith bit his lip, looping his arms casually around Lance’s shoulders. “That’s setting the bar pretty high. You think you can live up to the hype?”

“ _Please_.” Lance’s confidence was back with a wink and smirk. “This is going to be my absolute best work, man.” He didn’t give Keith time to roll his eyes before he was leaning forward, mouth attaching to Keith’s collarbone. He took a second to adjust his legs beneath him and then, with hands on Keith’s waist, guided him forward so he was straddling Lance’s lap. Carefully, Lance slipped his fingers beneath the hem of Keith’s shirt, sliding the garment up, pulling it over his head. The shirt was barely off before Keith was reaching out to do the same thing, only less gently.

Here, both of them paused.

Keith had seen Lance shirtless multiple times, but this was different. There was a purpose to this; intent behind it. This time he didn’t have to avert his eyes. This time he could _touch_.

He did drag his gaze away from the smooth skin of Lance’s chest, however, when he felt gentle fingers brush over the scar on his shoulder from the Marmora trials so long ago. Keith tried to catch Lance’s eyes, but his focus was aimed only at the path his fingers took as he mapped out the scars littering Keith’s torso. His hand trailed down, running along the length of a fading scar that cut across his ribcage, where he had been just a second slower than his opponent’s blade. They followed the lines of Keith’s abs down to press lightly against the thick, white knot of scar tissue that was the result of a stab wound just beside his belly button. There, Keith stilled Lance’s hand with his own, because now wasn’t the time to think of such things. Now was not the time to remember the panicked look in Lance’s tear-filled eyes, or the sinking feeling he’d had at the acceptance that this injury wasn’t something he could just walk off.

“I remember when you got all of these.” Lance spoke before Keith could distract him from the memories. Slowly, his clear, blue eyes turned upwards to meet and hold Keith’s. “I remember how scared I was every time it happened. You make me so scared sometimes, Keith.” His voice was barely a whisper. “I don’t think you’ve ever known how much you mean to me…” His hand rose, finger curling around Keith’s neck as his thumb stroked the edge of the cauterized scar running up toward his eye. “You asked what I wanted before. No more holding back.”

“I remember.”

“I want you to let go and trust me. I want you to let me take care of you the way I’ve always wanted. Do you think you can do that for me?”

“You want to take care of me, Lance?” Keith forced a teasing smile onto his face, because if he didn’t try to downplay those words and what they actually meant to him, he would most likely blurt out something it was probably too soon to say out loud.

But Lance didn’t back down; he didn’t play along and brush it off. “Yeah. I really, really do.”

“Oh.” There was a soft explosion in Keith’s chest, like a stone tossed into a placid lake, leaving nothing behind but ripples upon ripples of serenity and security. “Okay.” Once again, giving in to this didn’t feel like weakness. “Yeah. Yeah, I can try to do that.”

The smile Lance flashed him, then, made everything worth it.

Then those quiet, cozy feelings were gone, replaced by a fire curling deep within his belly as Lance grabbed him by the hips, guiding him forward until they were fully pressed together.

The sudden contact made a gasp slip from Keith’s throat. His hands latched onto Lance’s shoulders, nails biting into the skin.

Lance’s hands dug into his hips with as much force, guiding him until a rhythm formed between them. It was like a dance that Keith learned, then mastered, them took control of – moving on his own; causing Lance to muffle a small, broken “ _fuck_ ” into the side of his neck.

Keith had always imagined Lance would be a talker during sex. He had pictured Lance cracking jokes and defusing the tension. He had pictured having to kiss a cocky smirk off his face just to shut him up.

But, now, as Lance’s lips trailed up the curve of his neck, nudging his jaw to the side – hands carving trails of fire up his back and down his thighs – there was nothing goofy about it.

“You have no idea how sexy you are.” Lance’s voice was a low whisper in his ear. “You have no idea how many people would kill to be in my position right now – and I wanted it more than all of them.”

Keith’s head was reeling. He felt like his blood had turned to molten lava in his veins, but he still had the presence of mind to let a smirk stretch across his face as he pulled Lance’s head away from his neck. “You wanted me more, huh?” he teased. “I don’t know, Lance. I think you’re going to have to _show_ me just how much more you wanted me than everyone else.”

For once in his life, Lance didn’t rise to the challenge. His fingers wound in the hair at the back of Keith’s head, and beneath the haze of passion clouding his eyes, there was something soft and gentle and yearning. “I can show you,” he whispered. “I can show you how long I have waited for this. I can show you exactly how much you mean to me.”

Keith tried to keep up the facade of the challenge, but when he opened his mouth, all that came out was what his heart wanted to say. “Then show me.”

_Show me, tell me, want me, love me –_

“Well, first of all –” Lance broke the sincerity of the moment as he cast a purposeful glance down at the place their bodies met. “I’ve got _all_ the proof you need right here.”

Keith fought to keep the corners of his mouth down as he rolled his eyes. “You know I hate you just a little bit.”

“Nah. I think you might actually like me a little bit.”

“Can’t imagine what gave you that impression.”

Lance chuckled, before his hands left Keith’s hair to smooth down the curve of his back. “But if you want more proof, I’ve actually had…a bit of a suspicion about something, so I’m going to give you two options right now so I know how to proceed, here. Option one –” He leaned back a little, tilting his head to one side as his fingers came to rest lightly on Keith’s thighs. “ _Hey, Keith, could you lay down for me, please?_ Or option two –“ The shift in his demeanor was so subtle and yet so jarring, as his voice dropped to a growl, hand rising up to seize Keith’s hips. “– _On your back, Keith.”_

Keith’s eyes went wide.

He didn’t have time to mask the reaction this side of Lance drew out of him, and he knew from the tiniest of smirks that curled one corner of Lance’s mouth that he had gotten his answer.

And yet, Lance hadn’t gotten it exactly right, although he had come close. So Keith drew in a breath and took a chance.

“Make me.”

It wasn’t a challenge or a command. It was a request. It was a door in the wall of vulnerability that, when opened, hinted at something kept locked away. Something secret. Something he had never let anyone else see.

He held Lance’s gaze, willing him to understand.

The moment Lance’s hands tightened on his waist, Keith knew he had.

The next thing he knew, he was being lifted off Lance’s lap – pushed backwards and pressed into the mattress. Lance’s body slotted into the space between his legs, hands pressing down on Keith’s shoulders. He bent forward, bringing his mouth right up to Keith’s ear as he hissed, “Stay down.”

Keith stared up with wide, expectant eyes as Lance sat up slowly, rocking back onto his heels. His blunt nails dragged down Keith’s chest and stomach, his hands following the bend of his legs until finally coming to rest on his knees.

There, however, Lance paused – face flushed, hair disheveled, pupils blown out – simply staring.

Suddenly unsure, Keith started to push himself up onto his elbows. Maybe he had taken it too far. Maybe this was weird. Maybe Lance didn’t want – “Hey, if this is –“

Lance shook his head, cutting him off. “Sorry, I was just…” He tilted his head, his eyes turning soft and a little sad as he slid gentle hands over Keith’s knees and down his calves. “You’re just so goddamn beautiful, and I don’t –“ He drew in a breath before deflating a little. “Can I make a request?”

Keith’s heart had done a little unexpected leap in his chest at how easily the word _beautiful_ had rolled off of Lance’s tongue. He bit his lip as Lance leaned over him, holding himself up with one arm as his other hand traced over the top of Keith’s knee and down his thigh, skimming up his torso until his fingertips traced along the curve of his jaw and slid up to brush the hair from his face.

“Look, I take it you maybe like things a little rough, but…I feel like you’ve had that before, and not in a good way.” Lance’s face was right over Keith’s, now, his eyes wide and earnest. “I can do a little of that, but I also just…really want to be gentle with you. Is that…would that be okay?”

And he was so close, and being so genuinely sweet, the words left Keith’s mouth before he could bite them back. “You are so goddamn beautiful, too, you know.”

Lance’s head fell forward into the crook of Keith’s neck and he let out a soft, breathy laugh. He pressed a light kiss to the spot just below his jaw. One of his hands raked through Keith’s hair, combing it back until it splayed out around his head in stark contrast to the cream-colored blanket beneath him. He continued to leave light, gentle kisses to his jaw and neck and cheek and temple.

Slowly, he settled into the space between Keith’s legs, letting his body press down with purpose – rocking forward; creating friction like the spark of a fire, slowing growing into a blaze of heat and energy.

It didn’t take long for Keith to decide he was a huge fan of the way Lance’s lips felt on his neck and collarbone – the dizzying swirl of his tongue, the graze of his teeth. Everything was so soft and gentle that when Lance bit down hard on the spot he had been working over, it came as such an unexpected shock it sent a jolt through Keith’s body. He tossed his head back, pushing his hips upwards as his mouth fell open in a soft moan.

Lance breathed a curse into the curve of his neck, and then he was moving – creating a path down Keith’s chest and stomach with a sting of open-mouth kisses. It was only when he let his teeth graze lightly over the jut of Keith’s hip bone, fingers toying with the waistband of his pants, that Keith’s eyes flew open and he started to sit up.

“Wait, Lance –“ He was slightly out of breath. “You – you don’t have to. I can do that for you. You don’t…” The words died in his throat at the look Lance was giving him from between his thighs.

“Did I ever tell you,” Lance drawled softly. “That I don’t really have a gag reflex?”

Keith tried to glare, but knew he must have looked a bit too frazzled at the moment for it to land properly. “It never,” he replied weakly, “really came up in conversation.”

“Hm. Then maybe I could interest you in a demonstration?”

“You’re a cocky little shit, you know that?” Keith’s muscles tensed as Lance dragged a finger up the length of his erection, pressed against the inside of his pants.

“Interesting choice of words.”

Fingers toyed with Keith’s waistband, but didn’t move further than that. For a moment the two of them simply watched each other, as if they were both waiting for the other one to break.

Then Lance whispered his name – searching, asking – and he had never looked at Keith like that before, so –

“Okay.” It was a breathless whisper as Keith slowly lowered himself back onto the futon.

He tried to regulate his breathing as his pants were discarded at the foot of the bed, but all efforts were wasted as he felt Lance’s hands slide up his thighs.

The needy sound he let out as soon as he felt Lance’s mouth on him probably would have been embarrassing under other circumstances.

But these weren’t other circumstances, and Keith’s fingers curled into the blanket beneath him, because apparently the _no gag reflex_ hadn’t been an exaggeration.

He tried to keep still; he tried to keep quiet.

It had always been easy to keep his wits about him during prior experiences. He had always been completely aware of exactly what was going on, and what noises he was making – so it was equally startling and exhilarating as he realized just how quickly he was losing himself and giving in to the feeling, now.

He was so caught up in it, he almost whined when Lance pulled off a moment later.

“You know,” Lance said, voice a little rough as he grinned smugly up at Keith from between his legs. “I always figured you for the quiet type. I’m really happy I was wrong.”

Keith threw an arm over his face in a meager attempt to hide. “If I tell you something,” he mumbled, “will you promise you won’t let it go to your head?”

“Oh –“ Lance sounded far too excited, like he could start bouncing up and down with untempered glee. “Oh _please_ tell me you normally _don’t_ make this much noise, but you _just couldn’t help it right now_. Oh please.”

Keith’s only response was to lift his arm just enough to glare, which made Lance break out into an elated peel of laughter. “Holy shit, this is the best thing ever. Fuck, man…why haven’t we done this before?”

It sounded rhetorical, but Keith attempted an answer anyway. “You know why, La –“ The name stretched out into a moan as Lance lowered his head again.

His movements were slower and shallower this time, and only served to make Keith squirm. He felt like a kettle screeching toward it’s boiling point, but every time he got close someone would turn the temperature down. His breath came in short, halting gasps as he tried to shift and push his hips up against the steady pressure Lance was using to hold him in place.

Lance let his mouth slide off at the snarling sound of his own name. “Oh, hey Keith. You want something?”

By that point, Keith was so wound up, that the purposefully, _infuriatingly_ innocent tone of Lance’s voice made him spring up. Lance’s eyes went wide as Keith grabbed him by the shoulders, dragging him forward and rolling until Lance’s back was pressed into the futon. His hands clamped around Lance’s wrists as he pinned him down, using the weight of his own body to hold him in place.

“You think you can get me to beg?” he growled – trying as best he could to ignore the ravenous look in Lance’s eyes, and the way it made a shiver of excitement run through him.

“Oh, I think I can.” The confidence in Lance’s voice was gasoline on the fire. “In fact, I think you were a second away from doing exactly that.” His eyes narrowed, the smirk stretching savagely across his face as his voice dropped a notch. “I think you _want_ me to make you beg.” He put on a show of struggling against the hold Keith had on his wrists, both of them knowing full well he wasn’t actually trying to break free. “I think you’ve been the one in charge for so long, and for once you want to just put all the decisions in someone else’s hands. You want someone else to give you what you want without having to tell them what to do; without having to fight for it. You _want_ to be selfish. You _want_ to let go.” As he spoke, his expression and his voice had softened – eyes wide and cheeks flushed. “And you can, sweetheart. You can be selfish. You can let go. Because, trust me, I’m not going to let you fall alone.“

Keith had been called pet names before – baby, hot stuff, sugar, big guy, and once to his revulsion, pumpkin. Because of this, he had decided he hated pet names since they had all sounded belittling at the time. Except, he realized now, it had all been about the context. It had been about who was saying it to him, and how they were saying it – because hearing Lance call him _sweetheart_ in a soft, encouraging voice while they were this close made his heart melt into a puddle of liquid that slid down his ribcage and spread through his body, making everything feel warm and safe.

So he drew in a breath and did exactly what Lance had been asking of him the whole time: He let go.

He took the last of his inhibitions and doubts and cast them aside, giving in wholly and completely.

He released Lance’s wrists, leaning forward to press one lingering kiss against his lips before rocking back on his heels and letting his hands glide down Lance’s torso, watching in delight as the muscles twitched beneath his touch.

“Keith –“ Lance’s voice was like a warning as he pushed himself up onto his hands.

Keith only shook his head, fingers moving deftly as he undid the tie on Lance’s sweatpants. “This is me being selfish, Lance. In a second we can switch, but…you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this.”

Lance swore under his breath. He stayed propped up on his arms, and Keith could feel his eyes tracking each movement as he slowly pulled the pants and boxers down his legs. He tossed the garments aside, turned back and then paused, hands hovering over Lance’s legs.

“Oh. So…it was never overconfidence, was it?” Keith raised his eyes to find Lance’s head tilted to one side, an eyebrow raised in question. “It was just…actual confidence.”

The grin Lance flashed him was surprisingly sheepish. He opened his mouth to say something but the only sound that came out was a soft groan as Keith bent down and slid his tongue up from base to tip before taking him fully into his mouth.

He quickly learned that Lance liked to swear in both English and Spanish, which was something Keith hadn’t known would be such a turn on. In addition, he hadn’t realized that someone grabbing a fistful of his hair and tugging to keep him in place would be something he could easily get used to, if that someone was a person he trusted. And also if that person would just as often let his fingers slacken to comb the loose hair out of Keith’s eyes.

Eventually Lance gave his hair a tug to signify that was enough, and he pulled completely off, wiping his mouth with the back of a hand.

Lance’s eyes were glazed and his face flushed, mouth open as he caught his breath. He latched a hand onto the back of Keith’s neck and pulled him into a frantic, messy kiss – breaking away after a moment only to take his head in both hands. “You’re so fucking gorgeous,” he panted, before sinking his teeth into the muscle between Keith’s neck and shoulder with enough force to probably leave a mark.

Keith’s jaw fell slack as he choked out a sound of pleasure, fingers digging into Lance’s thighs as he tried to pull him closer; chasing the feeling of intimacy and urgency.

Lance had a different plan, though – and Keith, still reeling and trying to catch his breath, suddenly found himself face down on the futon. He bit back a whimper at the feeling of Lance’s weight pressing down along the length of his back.

Long fingers curled around Keith’s throat, not squeezing, just holding, as warm breath tickled his cheek. “Stay right there and don’t move.” The words were a command in his ear, and all Keith could do was bury his face in the blanket, hands curling in the soft cloth as anticipation sent his stomach into a frenzy.

It only took Lance a couple seconds to find what he needed from his bag.

When Keith felt his hands sliding down his sides and over the curve of his ass, the anticipation gave way to a bit of nervousness.

Fooling around with yourself was completely different than having someone else touch you. Experimenting in the privacy of your own bedroom was completely different than expecting someone else to take the time to learn what you liked.

“Hey –“ Lance’s voice was soft as it cut through the anxiety growing in Keith’s chest. He was leaning over, face close to Keith’s ear, one hand gently kneading the muscles of his back. “We’re gonna go slow, now, okay? And let me know if anything is uncomfortable.”

Keith gave a tiny nod, but it must not have been enough because Lance’s hand stilled on his back.

“Keith.”

“Okay,” he got out. “I will.”

Lance pressed a kiss to his shoulder. “I’m also expecting you to let me know if anything feels good, too, you know.” There was a smirk in his voice as he shifted back, positioning himself between Keith’s legs.

He pressed a trail of soft kisses down the length of Keith’s spine, obviously trying to keep some contact and maintain the buzz of arousal while his hands were occupied with the bottle of lube Keith only vaguely realized Lance had been carrying in his bag this whole time.

He sucked in a sharp breath at the first invasive touch, feeling Lance bend down to place a kiss at the base of his spine.

“Just relax, sweetheart. I’ve got you.”

And Keith did relax. There wasn’t much of a choice, because Lance’s touch was far more gentle and caring and patient than he had ever been with himself. Face buried in the blanket, Keith’s mind began to go blank, until all that existed was the feel of Lance’s hands.

It wasn’t long before his body began to react involuntarily as Lance’s finger pressed deeper – causing his legs to fall apart; his hips to lift slightly and press back, chasing the feeling. Caused Lance’s name to fall from his mouth – broken and hoarse and desperate.

“God –“ he heard Lance whisper from behind him. “You’re making this really difficult to go slow.”

Keith shifted just enough so he could peer over his shoulder. “So don’t –“

There was something burning in Lance’s eyes as they flicked up to meet Keith’s. “Really?” He pressed his free hand to Keith’s spine, angling his other wrist. “You want me to stop doing this?” To prove his point, he increased the pace, pressing deeper –

Keith gasped, hands clutching the blanket. “I want –“ he panted as Lance’s hand continued its torturous motion. “I want you to – to fuck me.”

“You’re killing me, man,” Lance breathed, before pulling back and slipping a second finger in before Keith could protest. “This is worse than the time we had to attend that formal event on the moon of Calder 3. Do you remember, Keith?” His voice was low and soft. “We wore those revealing clothes they provided us and I had to spend the entire evening watching everyone stare at you. I had to watch as the Calderians swept you up for dance after dance – all of them trying to catch your eye because you’re just so fucking _gorgeous_ –“ He punctuated the last word with a thrust of his fingers, and the gasps Keith had been letting out turned into a long, loud moan he smothered in the blanket.

Lance shifted behind him, sliding his fingers free at the same time as he pushed Keith’s knees further apart and yanked his hips up.

Keith’s body was still humming from that last starburst of pleasure as he vaguely heard the pop of a bottle cap – and then Lance’s hands were grasping him by the waist.

A soft growl of his name was the only warning he got before Lance was pushing forward, holding him steady; moving slowly –

“Everywhere we go, I see them staring at you, and I get so fucking jealous because they don’t deserve you.”

Keith was breathing hard, only half listening to the words Lance was using to distract him – eyes squeezed shut because it was a _lot_ –

“None of them fucking deserve you,” Lance continued. “None of them want you the way I want you. None of them know you like I know you.”

Keith almost cried out as he felt a hand tangle in his hair, pulling his head up and back as Lance finally thrust in all the way. He leaned over Keith’s back, biting down hard on the muscle between his neck and shoulder.

“You’re mine.” It was a growl in Keith’s ear, harsh and low and possessive.

And then, just as quickly, Lance’s hands turned soft, tilting Keith’s head and brushing his hair back. The harshness of the bite turned to soft, lingering kisses that littered Keith’s shoulder and neck and cheek and temple – anywhere his mouth could reach. “And I’m yours,” Lance crooned into his hair, tender and warm and loving. “I’ve always been yours.”

The sound Keith made was somewhere between a moan and a sob because he hadn’t bargained for this – how Lance played perfectly to both his lust and his emotions; giving him what his body needed while hinting at everything his heart had longed for.

The sound slipped out again – softer, pleading – as Lance’s breath tickled his ear with a whisper of “You’re doing so well, sweetheart,” before he was leaning back, taking a firm hold on Keith’s hips and slowly beginning to move.

And Keith let himself fall.

Hurtling through empty space toward a place from which he knew he could never return.

And it was something he had never felt before.

Usually everything was rushed and hectic and messy. Usually he was pushed around and handled into position – and there was a definite thrill in that – but there was a huge difference to being handled in a way that said _I need you right now_ as opposed to a way that said _I’m horny so let’s just get this over with._

He could hear every breath – every gasp, every moan they made. He could feel everywhere Lance was touching him. He could feel the way Lance’s body curved and pressed against his.

It filled him with a delicious sense of desperation.

It made him press his hips back, meeting Lance’s thrusts.

It made his hands curl into the blanket beneath him, needing something to hang onto.

It made sounds slip from his mouth that he didn’t even know he could make – filthy and needy and pleading.

It made him desperately want to flip over so he could see Lance’s face; so he could show Lance his own face – show him what a complete and exquisite wreck he had been turned into.

He reached back with one hand, twisting as far as his spine would allow; fingers grasping at Lance’s hip.

He knew his eyes must have been conveying everything he wanted to say: _Please…please, please, please…I want more…I want everything…I want you…_ because that one look was all it took for Lance to reach down, looping an arm around Keith’s waist and hauling him upright.

Keith let his head fall back onto Lance’s shoulder, breathing heavily as Lance’s arm pressed him back against his heaving chest.

Teeth and lips grazed along the curve of his neck, moving upwards until they clamped down on his earlobe, giving it a sharp tug.

This new position felt strangely intimate – Lance’s arm wrapping around his stomach, holding him close as they moved together – and words were falling brokenly from Keith’s mouth without care or thought.

“You feel so fucking good.”

Lance’s hand that had been holding Keith by the hip slowly slid down further, wrapping around him to give a couple lazy strokes that caused Keith’s legs to tremble.

“Sweetheart,” Lance breathed against his neck, low and urgent. “You have no idea how good you feel. I’ve waited so long to see you like this…”

It was the possessive grip of his hands; the hushed sincerity of his words that almost tossed Keith over the edge, sending a shudder through his body as his fingers dug sharply into Lance’s thighs.

Except it wasn’t quite right.

And he didn’t want it to end.

He wanted –

“…s-see you.”

“What’s that, sweetheart?”

“W-want to see you,” he gasped. “Want to switch…see your face.”

Lance gave a short, nervous laugh, stilling for a moment. “Okay, but…I might have to shut my eyes, unless you want this to be over in, like, two seconds.”

Keith let out a long groan as Lance slowly guided him off his lap. He felt boneless and wobbly as he collapsed forward onto his hands and knees for a moment before pulling himself together and twisting around. Lance had stretched his legs out, lying back on the bed as Keith swung a leg over his hips.

He offered Lance a shaky grin as he positioned himself. “I have faith in you to last longer than that.”

Lance only chuckled, fingertips skimming up Keith’s thighs. “You can have all the faith you want, babe, but you are also delusional and have zero sense of how fucking sexy you are.”

Keith ignored that in favor of letting hid body sink down, taking a moment to adjust to this new position. His head fell to the side, and he clamped his bottom lip between his teeth, letting the shudder run through him.

He felt Lance’s hands on his waist, simply resting there as he waited for Keith to move. Seeing Lance’s face – flushed and wrecked and sweaty – brought all of Keith’s feelings surging to the surface. Every time he had wanted to reach out and touch Lance; every time he had held himself back from grabbing him by the collar of his jacket and pulling him in for an impulsive kiss. Every time he had wanted to pin Lance against the nearest surface – he remembered it all; he felt it all, and it was almost too much. It was almost too overwhelming.

He wanted to ravage Lance – to ruin him in the most gentle and loving way.

And so he stroked his fingers down Lance’s cheek, letting his thumb brush along Lance’s bottom lip.

He gathered all those memories – the instances where he had wanted to let his feelings show – and he let them guide his hands. He lets the walls he had built come crashing down – releasing the truth to settle over him like a comforting blanket, adsorbing into his skin and shining through his eyes.

“You are so good, Lance,” he murmured. “I wish I had told you a thousand times.”

He watched, inwardly delighted as Lance’s mouth fell open.

“I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to touch you like this – how many times I wanted to take your hand; to wrap you in my arms, to kiss any worry or fear or anger from your beautiful face –“ he whispered, letting his hips start to move ever so slightly. “Your face…that makes me so happy when we sleep in my ship and it’s the first thing I see when I wake up.” He rocked forward, making a tiny groan slip from Lance’s mouth as his hands tightened on Keith’s waist. “I can’t tell you how many times I tried to imagine what your face would look like with me on top of you, making you feel good.” Slowly, gradually, he had begun to increase his pace. “I tried to imagine the sounds you would make and the way your body would move against mine – fitting together, like we were made for this.” Both of their breaths were coming harder now, and Keith fell forward, panted into Lance’s neck as the feeling inside him began to increase – dancing along his nervous system like a million flickering lights. He forced his head back, making direct eye contact with Lance as he gasped out the next sentence, “Because this – this is only for you, Lance. And you are so much better than I ever could imagine.”

“A-after –“ Lance panted, his eyes alight with determination. “I want you to ask me what I was thinking right now.”

“Ask you –“

The rest of the sentence was lost in a burst of pleasure that shot through Keith’s entire body as Lance dug his fingers into his hips pulling him down hard as he pressed his hips upwards. The sensation made Keith fling his head back, spine bowing and nails biting into Lance’s shoulders – the sound that escaped his mouth was visceral and loud.

Lance didn’t give him a chance to catch his breath as he grabbed Keith roughly and flipped him onto his back. Keith’s legs hooked around Lance’s waist – each thrust hitting deep inside, over and over, until nothing else existed but the white-hot pleasure and the insurmountable need to crest the peak he had been steadily climbing.

The nails of one hand were biting into Lance’s bicep, while his free hand snaked down between their bodies, needing to touch himself; needing this to reach its end…needing it to last forever.

Keith’s head was thrown back, mouth open as raw, needy moans were drawn out of him – bordering on something agonized and animalistic. He knew he was being blatantly loud – and in a moment of rational clarity, he snatched his hand away from Lance’s arm and slapped it over his own mouth, trying to muffle the sounds he couldn’t hold back.

Lance grabbed his wrist, wrenching the hand away and pinning it beside his head. “Don’t you dare,“ he growled, harsh and guttural. “Love, let me hear you. _Keith_ –“

And Keith hurtled over the edge, crying out, vision flickering, breath driven from his lungs.

The sensation exploded through him, coursing like wildfire through his veins on the tail end of the word _love_.

His mind had gone blank, and he was only vaguely aware of Lance pulling out, and a moment later a warm, wet sensation splattering onto his stomach and chest. He was still coming down from the high, trying to catch his breath – as he felt Lance collapse beside him on the bed.

Gentle fingers combed the sweat-soaked hair back away from his face, and a small shudder ran through Keith’s body as he felt Lance press a soft, tender kiss to his hairline.

“Hey –“ The part of his brain that was aware of his surroundings was extremely satisfied that Lance’s voice sounded just as ragged as he felt. “I think…I mean, from your reactions, I think…but I gotta hear you say it, so –“

“Let’s get married.”

Keith let his head swivel towards the sound of Lance’s voice, wanting to see his face despite feeling like all he could do right then was sink down into the soft bed and let it consume him.

He was met with wide eyes and a hushed whisper. “What did you say?”

“You said –” Keith offered him a drowsy smile. “You said you were going to make this so good for me I would want to skip past all the dates and go straight to marrying you. Does that answer your question?”

“Yes,” Lance breathed, looking a little shaken. “But it also brings up a million more.”

Before Keith’s exhausted mind could sort out a response to that, Lance was pushing himself up on the bed.

“Hang on,” he said, rising a little shakily to his feet. “I wanna – I mean I think we should… um, you’re kindof a mess, so just hang on while I get something to clean this up. Just…don’t move, okay?”

“Um yeah…don’t think I could even if I wanted to.” Keith grinned up at the ceiling, hearing the soft padding of Lance’s bare feet as he retreated across the room.

There were several moments of fumbling sounds from the bathroom before Lance came back into view, a damp towel clutched in his hands.

He knelt down and gently began to wipe the mess they both had left on Keith’s torso, only pausing when he felt Keith’s eyes on him.

“What?”

“You’re…cleaning me up.”

Lance shrugged, like it was no big deal. “Yeah?”

Keith only continued to stare as Lance finished wiping up the proof of their time together – his mind beginning finally to return to some semblance of normal thought.

Lance left again, returning to the bathroom with the now filthy towel, and then hurrying back over to the bed, scooping up their respective pairs of underwear on the way. He slipped into his own boxers first before guiding Keith’s over his feet and carefully pulling them up his legs.

He only shrugged, one brow raised, as he noticed the stunned expression on Keith’s face. “I told you I’d take care of you. I didn’t just mean with sex. It does apply to other things, you know.”

Those words sparked a memory lingering on the edge of Keith’s mind.

Lance flopped back down onto the futon with a drawn-out, contented sigh. He rolled onto his side, facing Keith, one hand propping up his head. Keith mirrored his position, wanting to reach out and touch Lance’s face, but holding back because there was something he needed to clear up first.

“What were you thinking?” When Lance frowned at him, he added, “You asked me to ask you what you were thinking after we were done.”

“Oh.” Lance chewed on his bottom lip. “Do you really want to know?”

“I mean, I am definitely curious why you couldn’t say whatever it was right then. You could have probably told me elephants were pink and I would have believed you.”

“That’s –“ Lance broke off, chuckling nervously. “That’s exactly why I didn’t…” He glanced up, eyes searching Keith’s face. “I’d like to know something first, actually. Do you remember what you said to me?”

“You mean right before that?”

Lance bit his lip and gave a little nod, eyes still searching.

Of course Keith remembered. He had taken advantage of the situation and used it as an opportunity to tell Lance how he really felt. Now that the euphoria of the moment had worn off, however, he drew in a shallow breath, suddenly wondering – “Was that…not good? What I said –“

“It was everything,” Lance cut him off. “Keith, it was… which is why I’d like to know if you meant it? Even a little bit of it, or if it was just, like, one of those things you say during sex.”

“You know I’m not good at making stuff up.” They had come this far; they had taken that final leap over the edge and the world had not ended yet, so – “I told you in the beginning I didn’t want to hold back anymore, and you deserve the truth, so…that’s what I told you. I meant every word.”

He had been watching Lance as he said it, so he saw the change come over his face. He saw that same awed, happy, dazed expression returned to his eyes. He saw the smile slowly stretch across his features.

“Was that –“

“Keith, I love you so goddamn much I can’t take it sometimes.”

Keith’s heart stuttered once, and then burst into flames.

“That’s what I wanted to say to you,” Lance explained. “But I needed you to know it wasn’t just because we were having sex, okay? That’s why I wanted to wait until afterwards – because I know some people say things they don’t mean during sex, and I needed you to know that I meant it. That I…I mean it. Because I’m so fucking in love with you that even if we had just been space partners…even if we had just been friends all our lives… Anything would have been fine as long as I was just…with you. But then we – we did that, and you said all those things and now you’re saying –“ He trailed off, breathing shakily and looking doubtful and hopeful and so incredibly vulnerable that Keith responded in the only way he knew how.

He slowly pushed himself up to a sitting position, wincing slightly and crossing his arms as he stared Lance down. “Oh yeah? I bet you anything I’ve been in love with you for longer.”

Lance was up in a second, mirroring his posture and narrowing his eyes. “Whatever man. I bet I love you more.” He waved an arm in the air. “Didn’t you hear what I said? I was willing to put everything aside just to be with you in whatever way you’d accept me! I absolutely win.”

“No. No, because you know how I’ve never really felt like I belong except when I’m up in space.” Keith retorted, leaning forward and pushing his face into Lance’s space. “But you made me miss Earth because that’s where you were. And if you had chosen to stay on that farm for the rest of your life, I would have visited you every fucking day I could, and woken up early to help you out just so I could see you smile!”

Lance bumped his forehead against Keith’s with a soft _thunk_. “Well, if I had the choice, we’d just live together and I would make you breakfast every morning and make you tea when you’re sick and wash the dishes for you and do your laundry –“

“Yeah, well, I would cherish every second with you and care for you and grow old with you because you’re the best thing in my life and I never want to lose you!”

At the same moment, they both seemed to comprehend the other’s words, because abruptly they were pulling back to stare at one another, eyes wide and breath coming fast.

Lance broke first, reaching for Keith. The laugh bubbling up from his chest started small and grew fast until it breached the gap, luring Keith into it’s warm, inviting grasp. For several minutes they could only cling to each other and laugh until both were gasping for air.

As the laughter died, they settled into an embrace, arms wrapping around the other, comfortable and familiar. Keith pressed his mouth against Lance’s collarbone, closing his eyes and allowing his body and his heart to settle into a feeling of unabashed contentedness.

Lance’s breath tickled his ear. “Keith Kogane, one of these days I’m going to marry you. Just you try to stop me.”

For a moment, Keith forgot how to breathe. He only remembered when his head began to spin, and he realized his arms had tightened into what was most likely a painfully tight grip around Lance’s ribcage.

“I think,” he whispered, breathless, “we possibly just yelled our vows at each other anyway, so we might as well just go get rings.”

“The sex was really that good, huh?”

Keith chuckled against the warm skin of Lance’s throat, not wanting to move for the rest of his life. “You know it’s more than that.”

It was Lance’s turn to tighten his arms, pressing a firm kiss into Keith’s hair. “It’s so much more than that.”

They stayed there for another moment, simply holding each other, until the peace was disturbed by another laugh from Lance. “We should totally show up at the Garrison like we did get married, though. Like we’ll get really cheap rings and call each other “husband” and act like it’s no big deal at all. And if anyone questions it, we’ll give them weird looks like _what you didn’t know?”_

Keith laughed along with him. “Can you imagine the look of betrayal on Shiro’s face? We’d have to have a ceremony just for him to be the best man so he could tell embarrassing stories about both of us!”

“Dude, forget Shiro. Can you imagine Hunk? He’d start bawling because he never got the chance to bake us the most delicious and beautiful wedding cake the Galaxy has ever seen!” Lance snorted. “And Pidge would just be mad at us that we didn’t let her in on our secret relationship so she could hold it over everyone’s heads.”

“It would serve them all right if we just went and got married on the way home.” Keith fell silent for a minute, before adding softly, “But it’s not about them.”

“No, it’s not,” Lance murmured into his hair – and then abruptly he was pulling away, holding Keith at arm’s length, his eyes wide and intense.

He was a bit of a ridiculous sight to behold as he rose to his feet and began pacing in tight circles around the foot of the bed, wearing nothing but his boxers and an unusually concentrated expression.

“Lance, what –“ Keith began, but he was cut off as Lance whirled on him.

“No, listen. It sounds crazy, right? But it’s – it’s not.” He was breathless as he rushed on, hands waving through the air. “I mean, I know we haven’t gone on actual dates. I know we’ve only had sex once. It’s crazy…except it’s not. Because…because we’ve done everything else. We’ve done all the important stuff. We’ve basically already been living together for a year. We’ve had fights and problems, but we’ve always worked them out. We…we know each other. We work together. We get along even when we don’t!” Even with the distance between them, Keith could see Lance’s hands shaking as his body tried to contain the overload of excited energy that could be heard in his voice. “And I love you. I’m so fucking in love with you I was ready to spend the rest of my life just being with you – as friends or teammates or _whatever!_ And you’ve apparently loved me since the fucking Garrison, and you said… _you said_ you’ve never gotten over it, and –“ Lance broke off, breathing hard, staring at Keith with wide eyes.

Then, slowly, he took a step forwards – and Keith watched in shocked silence as Lance lowered himself down onto one knee.

“Keith –“

That was as far as he got before Keith was reaching out, scrambling up on the bed so he was kneeling in front of Lance. His heart was beating so fast, it felt like it was trying to run away, and he latched his hands onto Lance’s arms to keep himself grounded. “Lance – what the fuck?”

Lance held his gaze, quiet and intense. “It’s not crazy,” he whispered.

“I know it’s not crazy!” Keith hissed. “That’s what’s crazy.” He rocked back onto his heels, still clutching Lance’s arms. “We…we can’t, right? There’s no way…”

Lance shook his head. “I know, I know. You’re right. We can’t – we _shouldn’t_. This isn’t how it’s supposed to work.” He chewed on his lip for a moment before letting out a shaky breath. Keith watched his face, seeing the gears turning; seeing him go over the situation in his mind. He was watching so intently, he saw the exact moment Lance reached his conclusion. And then Lance was raising his eyes to meet Keith’s; all nervous energy replaced by a calm, steady certainty. “But here’s the thing. It’s not going to matter when I ask – because I’m going to ask. I don’t think I’ve ever been more sure about anything in my entire life.”

Keith’s breath caught in his throat, which was suddenly, annoyingly tight. He slumped backwards, wincing as he plopped back onto his tailbone. “And I’d say yes,” he choked out. There was no need to think it over. He knew it was the truth. Because taking that final step they both had danced around for so long hadn’t ruined their relationship…it had brought it to light. It had taken everything hidden and half-spoken – all the not so subtle looks and touches; all the feelings buried deep – and had laid it out like the last piece of a puzzle needed to form a while picture. “If you asked – whenever you asked…I’d say yes.”

His head fell forward as he tried to draw in a breath to calm his racing heart. He felt one of Lance’s hands slide around his, intertwining their fingers. “Then say yes. Keith –“ He felt Lance’s other hand press against his chin, tilting his head up – thankful to find that his eyes were not the only ones shiny with tears.

“Marry me,” Lance whispered. “It doesn’t have to be now. It doesn’t even have to be any time soon. Just say you will, one day. All I’ve ever wanted is just to be with you. That’s all I’ve ever needed.”

There was a part of Keith that could not believe this was happening, but the larger part was telling him that there was no other way this would have happened with the two of them.

“Okay.” Between the tightness in his throat and the grin slowly taking over his face, it was difficult to speak. And then he was laughing. “Yes, Lance, you fucking little shit. We can’t do anything normally, can we?”

“Normal –“ Lance said, leaning forward and taking Keith’s face in both his hands. “Is overrated. You’re half alien. We spent years flying around space in robot cats. Nothing about our lives is normal.”

Keith sniffed, still laughing softly as he leaned into Lance’s hands. “We have to get rings now.”

Lance’s thumbs stoked absentmindedly across his cheeks. “Yeah, we do. We have to show up at the Garrison with rings, casually calling each other fiancé.” The grin that broke across his face was dazzling and awestruck. “You’re my fiancé, Keith. We’re going to be together.”

Keith was in no way prepared for the sob that sentence ripped from his throat. He tried to smother it by covering his face. He tried to shoo Lance away as he wrapped his arms around him. He tried to hide in Lance’s chest when that didn’t work. “Shut up, shut up…” he mumbled as he vaguely heard Lance laughing. “What the fuck is this shit? What did you do to me?”

“My mom used to say that our hearts could only hold so much, and when we experienced an emotion that made our hearts overflow it came out as tears.” His arms were a shield against the world, encasing Keith in a circle of protection and allowing him to be vulnerable. “You’re happy, sweetheart.” Lance murmured, pressing a lingering kiss to the top of his head. “Your heart can hold a lot without overflowing, but sometimes it’s nice to let it spill out.”

Keith gave a pitiful groan against Lance’s chest. “You’re making it worse. You and your stupid heart and your love and your empathy and your family.”

“My family –“ Keith could hear the smile in Lance’s voice. “ _Our_ family. I told you that months ago.”

Keith clamped a hand over his mouth, but he wasn’t quick enough to muffle the tiny, pitiful noise before it escaped. Lance’s fingers combing through his hair was as gentle and soothing as the sound of waves breaking on the shoreline.

“Sweetheart, you’ve been holding everything in for so long, but you know what?” Lance brought his lips right up against Keith’s ear. “You don’t have to do that anymore. Because we’re a team, right?” His fingers traced feather light circles into Keith’s shoulder blades. “Whatever happens from now on…whatever comes our way, we’ll figure it out together. Just you and me.”

The wave of emotion was subsiding; the overwhelming cathartic feeling in his chest was fading back into something normal, and Keith was finally able to loosen his hold on Lance.

“What’s funny?” Lance asked softly as Keith huffed out a laugh.

Keith raised his face, pulling away slightly. He knew he must have looked like an absolute wreck, but more importantly in that moment, he didn’t care.

“When people ask,” he mused, “when or how or why we got together, can I tell them _Well, Lance promised me he’d make me cum so hard I’d want to get married on the spot._ I think Hunk would straight up just pass out from secondhand embarrassment.”

Lance raised an eyebrow, smirking. “I’m tempted to let you do that. You know, for personal pride reasons and all that. And also because I’d really like to watch everyone squirm because you’d say it with this completely straight face, and they wouldn’t be able to tell if you were joking or not.” He seemed to consider it for a second and then the smirk faltered. “Or maybe we just say it to fucking James,” he mumbled.

Keith pulled away from Lance’s arms completely then, cocking an eyebrow at him. “What’s with you and James?” he asked. “Did he bully you, too, and I just didn’t know?”

Lance leveled an exasperated look at Keith. “He bullied _you_.” He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“So?”

“So I _liked_ you.” Lance held up his hands helplessly as Keith only looked at him in confusion. “I wanted to _protect_ you. I wanted to be brave enough to stand up to him and defend you, but I just…never seemed to be around when he actually did anything.”

“It’s probably better you weren’t around,” Keith gave a dismissive shrug. “I wouldn’t have accepted help at the time, anyway. I was in a very _I don’t need anyone and I can look out for myself and also fuck off_ mindset, but I’m sure you remember.”

“Oh, I might recall.” Lance stuck his tongue out as Keith leveled a look at him. “I remember you kept to yourself and didn’t really socialize.” Lance toyed with the hem of Keith’s boxers. “I remember thinking you could use a friend. I remember wanting that friend to be me.”

“So even back then you were smitten.” It was Lance’s turn to shoot him an unamused glare as Keith continued, teasing. “You were smitten with some scrawny, anti-social, angry little shit of a kid who wouldn’t give you the time of day. You’ve got really bad taste. Sorry, buddy.”

“Oh, is that so?” Lance pushed himself to his feet, holding out a hand to Keith. “Come with me for a second.” He paused, then added with a wicked grin, “If you think you can walk, that is.”

Keith grabbed his hand and let Lance haul him to his feet. “Fuck. You.”

Lance spun away, walking backwards toward the bathroom as Keith shuffled stiffly after him. “Hey,” Lance shrugged, smirking. “I would absolutely be down for that one day. Preferably soon.” He twirled around, laughing at the slightly off-kilter look on Keith’s face.

He swept the bathroom curtain aside in a grand gesture and took Keith’s hand, dragging him into the small space. He maneuvered Keith until he stood in front of the mirror, and then slipped around to stand behind him.

For a moment they simply stood there, eyes meeting in the reflection before them. Lance’s hands curled around Keith’s shoulders, and despite the fact that they had literally just had sex, this made Keith feel more vulnerable and exposed than anything before.

“You think I have bad taste?” Lance’s eyes held his, unwavering. “You want to know what I see every day?” He didn’t wait for Keith to answer, just let his fingertips trace along the curve of Keith’s muscles, traveling over his shoulders and down his arms. “Savior of the universe…” One hand came up, thumb skimming along Keith’s jaw before dropping down the line of his throat. “Respected leader of a secret ninja espionage group turned Galactic humanitarian operation.” Keith shivered as his fingers continued their devilishly soft course down his torso, tracing the line down the middle of his abdomen until both hands came to finally settle on his hips. “Half alien, which – let’s be honest – is maybe the coolest thing in the whole world.” Lance flattened on hand on his stomach, pulling him back until their bodies were pressed flush together. “My best friend, and – oh yeah – now my beautiful, sexy, and all around badass fiancé.” He shook his head. “Yeah. I’ve got terrible taste. What a horrible tragedy to have to wake up to all _this_ every day.”

“Huh.” Keith kept his voice light and playful. “Funny of you to talk about yourself like that, but okay. Didn’t know you were also half-alien.”

Lance raised an eyebrow at his reflection in the mirror. “Oh, so that’s how it’s gonna be? This a ‘refuse to take a compliment zone’ or something? Because I don’t think that’s gonna fly with me. I’m a compliments kind of guy when I’m in a relationship, you know.” Lance wrapped both arms around Keith’s stomach, hugging him from behind and resting his chin on his shoulder.

Keith leaned back into his embrace. “Hey, compliments guy? I think we should brush our teeth and then go to bed so I can let one of those fluffy pillows just absorb me.”

“Ugh. I can’t believe I’m gonna marry a guy who is _such_ a romantic. Go on, Keith,” he said, untangling his arms and stepping away. “Whisper sweet nothing to me about dental hygiene.”

Keith turned around, still close enough that he could feel the warmth of Lance’s body. Slinging one arm over Lance’s shoulder, he crooked his index finger on the other hand in a _come closer_ motion. As Lance leaned in, he lowered his voice. “Well, first I’m going to brush my teeth, and then…I’m gonna floss, and then you know what I’m gonna do, Lance?” His hands slid down Lance’s sides, yanking him forward until they were pressed together again. “I’m gonna kiss the fresh, minty hell out of you because that’s a thing I can do, now.”

Lance crashed their lips together without warning, yanking Keith into a frenzied kiss, pressing him back against the counter – hands tugging hair; running over every inch of skin within his grasp. He pulled away all too suddenly with a wet pop and smirked at Keith’s obviously disheveled look. “Babe, you can kiss the hell out of me whenever you fucking want, minty or not. But you gotta prepare yourself, because you can bet I’m gonna do the same.” He stepped back, still smirking. “And I do mean whenever. In the middle of a Blade meeting. In the cafeteria at the Garrison. In the hangar the minute we land back on Earth. You can’t get rid of me, now.” He winked and then moseyed out of the bathroom, hands linked behind his head, to get his toiletries from his bag.

“Good thing I don’t want to,” Keith called after him, smiling as he heard the answering laugh. “Can you grab my stuff, too?”

“I’ll grab whatever you want me to, sweetheart.” There was a moment of silence and then Lance called out again. “Damn, Keith – don’t be so loud. I can hear your eyeroll from here!”

Keith had been rolling his eyes. “You know what? I don’t think we even need a ceremony or rings, Lance,” he called out, folding his arms and leaning back against the counter.

The curtain swished as Lance brushed it aside, returning with their supplies in hand. “Oh yeah? And why’s that?”

“Because I’m pretty sure we’re already an old married couple.” Keith grinned at Lance, accepting his toothbrush.

“Hah. See, I told you it wasn’t crazy.” Lance tapped him lightly on the nose with the tube of toothpaste they shared. “But I still want rings. And a big wedding.”

“Rings, and a small wedding with just our family and friends.”

“Rings and a small- _ish_ wedding,” Lance conceded. “But we go all out and make it an event.”

“Ugh. Fine. But you’re planning it.”

“Oh –“ Lance slung an arm around his waist pressing a kiss to Keith’s cheek. “Yeah, I wouldn’t have it any other way. You are getting nowhere _near_ those plans or we’ll end up with a menu of, like, black coffee and breakfast cereal.”

Later, as the two of them settled down for the night – exhausted and content – Keith’s mind would not let him drift off right away.

He felt Lance’s arm around him; felt the rise and fall of Lance’s chest beneath his hand, breathed in the scent of Lance beside him.

“I love you,” he whispered, realizing he had never actually said those exact words out loud.

Lance turned his head, already half asleep. “Love you,” he slurred, nuzzling his nose into Keith’s hair.

“I love you, Lance,” he whispered again, just needing to say it this time. “You have my whole heart.”

Lance offered him a sleepy grin, not bothering to open his eyes. “Don’t let Kosmo hear you say that,” he murmured.

And that response, more than anything before, solidified their relationship in Keith’s mind.

It proved to him that nothing had changed.

It told him that loving each other wasn’t some earth-shattering revelation they had to work through and figure out. It told him that it had already been that way for a long time for both of them, and it came just as naturally as everything else they did.

He settled down, relaxing completely against Lance’s side. “You’re right,” he murmured. “Kosmo has 70% of my heart, but you can have the rest.”

Even in his half-sleepy state, that drew a chuckle from Lance. “I can work with that,” he mumbled before drifting off completely.

The Ahldorian Ambassador met them in the lobby of the Embassy on their way out in search of breakfast the following morning.

“Good new,” he said, arms waving eagerly as he hurried over to greet them. “We have been informed the storm is letting up, meaning it should be safe to breach the atmosphere in several vargas.”

“Thank you for informing us,” Keith replied, immediately back to business mode. “Is there any service we can provide while we wait? Any way we can help out?”

The Ambassador waved two of his arms in a dismissive gesture. “Oh no, no. We would never ask that of guests. Everything is under control, and we encourage you to take the time to enjoy our city and see our sights.” He pulled his arms together in front of his chest, both sets of hands forming steeples with his long, thin fingers. “Enjoy yourselves…and possibly report back to your Garrison on how welcoming and accommodating we were, and how Ahldor is a wonderful place for anyone to visit.”

Lance let out a loud, good-natured laugh, looping his arms through Keith’s. “I get’cha. We’ll definitely say good things, don’t worry. But there is actually something you could help us with, Ambassador, as we are trying to learn more about your people.”

“I will help in any way I am able.” The Ambassador inclined his head in a small bow.

Keith could feel the brightness radiating off Lance’s grin. “On our planet, we have many customs, and I am curious if you have anything like this here. We have a custom where if two people decide to marry – to spend their lives together – they present each other with rings and speak vows of commitment before a group of their choosing.” Lance paused for a moment, giving Keith’s arm a subtle squeeze. “Do you have any such customs?”

“I believe,” the Ambassador said thoughtfully, tilting his head. “This custom on your planet would be equivalent to a ceremony we called Syndora Ain. I do not believe there is a direct translation, but the sentiment of it is finding your home within the heart of another. This ceremony takes place once a year, beginning at sunrise and ending at sunset. It is a day of celebration planet-wide, where any couples may choose to pledge their lives and hearts and futures to each other; to start families and build homes. If both Ahldorians agree to this union, they gift one another with a necklace, which they do not remove, even to their grave. If a necklace is removed voluntarily, the union is broken, and those Ahldorians must live the remainder of their lives alone, for the necklace must only be presented when both parties know without any doubt that they wish to share their life with the other.” He paused for a moment, eyes blinking in unison. “If my calculations are correct, the day of Syndora Ain would occur in…10 of your Earth months.” He perked up, leaning toward the two of them, hands clasping. “It is a wonderful, joyous day of celebration! All are welcome, even if they do not wish to participate in the union. I would eagerly welcome you and your Garrison to join. We offer accommodations and food and drink and festivities.”

“It is definitely something we will include in our report,” Keith replied, wanting to shift away from the overly eager alien before them, but trying to remain polite.

“Is there a place we could look at these necklaces?”

Lance’s question had been spoken innocently enough, appearing to the outside viewer to have no ulterior motive – but it made Keith’s heart stutter in his chest, because this was serious.

This was serious and it was real and it was actually happening.

There was no doubt between them – as they had adamantly confirmed to the other after waking up in a tangle of limbs and messy hair and sleepy smiles that morning.

Keith only half listened as the Ambassador rattled off some directions to a nearby shop, which Lance thanked him for and excused the two of them, informing the Alhdorian they would check in with him in several vargas for an update on their departure.

His attention only wandered back to the present as Lance took his hand and gave it a tug, pulling him forward as they stepped out onto the Embassy steps.

And his attention stayed helplessly hooked as Lance flashed him a smile that he realized, now, he had never seen directed at anyone else.

That smile sent Keith’s heart careening out of control – and for once, he gave in to it. He let the chaos and turbulence he had tried so hard to control over the years take hold, because he understood no matter how wild and terrifying it got, Lance would be there to reel him back.

Lance was steady and formidable, and always there to cut through the densest rainclouds with his light. Because if Keith was a storm, Lance was a lighthouse, guiding him safely through life.

He had been there through the darkest times – holding out a hand, offering a smile – pulling Keith back into the warmth and comfort of his waiting arms.

And Keith knew they would most likely be back here in 10 months to join in the ceremony of Syndora Ain. Other places and other ceremonies may have had more significance. Other customs of human and Galra would most likely be expected of them. But this place would forever be special in a way Keith couldn’t quite put into words.

It was the place their relationship had become whole. It was the place the truth had been spoken.

And, more than anything, it was where Keith realized no place or planet or tradition mattered to him, because no matter where he was in the universe, if he had Lance, he would always be fine.

Because Lance had always been his light in the darkness – showing the way, calling him back, and guiding him home.

The End

**Author's Note:**

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>  [Voltron Comic](https://tapas.io/episode/1299614)
> 
> Note: Please do not share this story or the art from it while tagging me on twitter or instagram. I have family and extended family who follow me there and they don't need to know I wrote this!


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